As the man was just about to knock on Umar’s door,he stopped in his tracks.He heard a voice coming from inside,a woman’s voice. It was Umar’s wife,she was speaking loudly and her voice(2)
ONE night, a man was angry that his wife had raised her voice when speaking with him. How could she disrespect him? How could she be-little him?
This man,convinced that his wife had crossed the line,decided to go and complain about her to a man who had much knowledge about (1)
As the man was just about to knock on Umar’s door,he stopped in his tracks.He heard a voice coming from inside,a woman’s voice. It was Umar’s wife,she was speaking loudly and her voice(2)
That was Umar ibn Al-Khattab in there, the fierce ruler of the Muslim Empire that had stretched East and West, and his wife was freely and confidently voicing her opinion and discussing important matters with him.
The man, feeling ashamed of his own
(3)
The man sheepishly replied, “I came to complain(4)
He said, “She washes my clothes, sweeps the floors,cares for my children, and cleans my house, when Allah has not commanded her to do so, but she(5)
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1/ Here’s a list of conversational frameworks I’ve picked up that have been helpful.
Please add your own.
2/ The Magic Question: "What would need to be true for you
3/ On evaluating where someone’s head is at regarding a topic they are being wishy-washy about or delaying.
“Gun to the head—what would you decide now?”
“Fast forward 6 months after your sabbatical--how would you decide: what criteria is most important to you?”
4/ Other Q’s re: decisions:
“Putting aside a list of pros/cons, what’s the *one* reason you’re doing this?” “Why is that the most important reason?”
“What’s end-game here?”
“What does success look like in a world where you pick that path?”
5/ When listening, after empathizing, and wanting to help them make their own decisions without imposing your world view:
“What would the best version of yourself do”?
Please add your own.
2/ The Magic Question: "What would need to be true for you
1/\u201cWhat would need to be true for you to\u2026.X\u201d
— Erik Torenberg (@eriktorenberg) December 4, 2018
Why is this the most powerful question you can ask when attempting to reach an agreement with another human being or organization?
A thread, co-written by @deanmbrody: https://t.co/Yo6jHbSit9
3/ On evaluating where someone’s head is at regarding a topic they are being wishy-washy about or delaying.
“Gun to the head—what would you decide now?”
“Fast forward 6 months after your sabbatical--how would you decide: what criteria is most important to you?”
4/ Other Q’s re: decisions:
“Putting aside a list of pros/cons, what’s the *one* reason you’re doing this?” “Why is that the most important reason?”
“What’s end-game here?”
“What does success look like in a world where you pick that path?”
5/ When listening, after empathizing, and wanting to help them make their own decisions without imposing your world view:
“What would the best version of yourself do”?
