Something occurred to me yesterday morning. Decided to wait till today to post about it. It wasn’t very “Thanksgivingish”.

So now we have a certified Serologic testing of Red Cross US blood donations to identify SARS-CoV-2-reactive antibodies, and that battery of testing shows widespread presence of SARS-CoV-2-reactive antibodies in donations made between December 2019-January 2020

#Thread

Living with meltdowns.

A personal, very late diagnosed, autistic perspective.

#autism
#AllAutistics
#ActuallyAutistic

1/

Before my autism diagnosis I had occasional emotional outbursts. These generally happened at home after a sustained period of pressure at school or at work.

When I discovered I was autistic I realised that these were actually what people call meltdowns.

2/

Getting intensely upset was a bit of a family thing. Sudden shouting and throwing of things, with resumption of peace and calm afterwards, wasn’t that unusual.

In fact we had a kind of mantra that it was much better to express our emotions than to keep them bottled up.

3/

It was hard to gauge my own emotions against other people’s but by any measure I felt things incredibly intensely.

As a child the injustice of being told off for something that wasn’t my fault burned into me. I sobbed until the tears stang my face and I could hardly breathe.

4/

But suppressing emotion was necessary for me to survive in the outside world. That’s partly what led to uncontrolled outbursts of feelings at home.

I melted down because there was no justice and I’d been misunderstood. I wasn’t using emotion as some kind of bargaining tool.

5/

Our conscious experience exists. In fact, it's the only thing you can directly observe, as everything about reality and how we perceive it is filtered through how our brains process stimuli and information. You are the only one who can define who and what you are.

Don't get me wrong, I am a materialist who believes the universe exists in the absence of beings who can observe it from an intelligence standpoint, but we are all collections of atoms, our function governed by chemical processes, not perfectly replicated by the process of birth.

Our means of DNA replication is imprecise because of billions of years of random evolution. We are on one branch of many, and there is countless variation in how all living beings are formed, and how we classify traits of those creatures, including sex and reproduction methods.

It would be an error to say that people who are intersex and/or transgender are the results of mistakes or errors in reproduction, because it implies DNA is "trying" to create a binary model of people and sometimes gets it wrong. It doesn't "try" to do anything; DNA != conscious.

Rather, our biological blueprints are not precise, and this is true for all living things. We can crossbreed plants and animals because of that imprecise nature, it's responsible for what we perceive as the "races" of people, etc. We can observe variation everywhere.