Mariah Carey albums as 👁👄👁

The Christmas Story (Luke 2 - New Revised Bogan Edition):

Back in the days of some Roman bastard named Caesar Augustus, he called out for a census or some shit, to count how many people the Romans had under their thumb. So everyone had to piss off back to their

own towns to do it. Shows how nothing's changed, at least they didn't have to deal with MyGov. Caesar was a bit of a dog cunt though.

So, Joseph hoofed it back to Bethlehem from Nazareth because that's where he was from, right? He had to take Mary with him, because she was his

defacto or some shit and she was knocked up. She had great fuckin' timing though, cos while they were in Bethlehem gettin' their names marked off by the Roman pigs, she decided that's where she was gonna pop her sprog! They didn't even have some you beaut section of highway for

sheilas to have their kids on. Mary did it rough, wrapped her kid in Joseph's fave Holden shirt and put Him in a manger cos no cunt had a room spare at the inn.

There were some blokes herding sheep out in the paddock near the inn, watching 'em so no bastard fucked off with

any of them while they slept. Then, out of nowhere, some winged bastard appears with light around them like it came from the PolAir chopper, and they were packin' it. But he yelled out "Oi cunt! No need to be scared, mate! I got some goss for ya! It's fuckin' great and

Inaugural outfits as gemstones: a thread

MVP Kamala Harris as Tanzanite

FLOTUS Dr. Jill Biden as Aquamarine (a variety of Beryl)

FLOTUS44 Michelle Obama as Rhodolite (a variety of pyrope garnet)

Amy Klobuchar as yellow Topaz

Bernie Sanders as gray jasper

Ok! Here we go! @WWXsPeach won my 100 follower contest and requested a WangXian canon-era A/B/O threadfic. This is going to be fun!

I basically never write canon because I am a white American and I'm terrified of getting it wrong and accidentally offending people. PLEASE please let me know if that happens! If I can't fix the offending tweet, I will correct it going forward and change it when it goes on AO3.

Also I have not written this out beforehand! I am much more of a plotter than a pantser, also I am super ADHD and don't take my meds on the weekend. So I have a general outline for this, but it might go off the rails.

Ok! So...Omega WWX invents birth control and saves the Wens!

Wei Wuxian, alone in the Demon-Slaughtering cave, was at the angry part of his heat. His legs hurt, his back hurt, he was horny as hell, he was craving tanghulu and yet all Wen Qing offered were the ever-present radishes.

I’m closing my DMs I can’t live like this anymore

Ugh I’m going to have to make a podcast about this now aren’t I