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MORNING BANTER

Most people could not handle being around me & my wife due to our ruthless banter. In my wife, I found my match. At 1st glance, my wife seems like a sweet choir girl who reads the bible all day, but she can play the dozens w/the best of them & takes no prisoners.

 Ive said many times b4, like comedian Flip Wilson said, "When I met my wife she had a Sunday School face & I had Saturday Night thoughts." I was a frat boy running around campus half naked & she was an honor roll student athlete seduced by a bad boy who partied more than studied.
Many mouths drop at the shit I say in stand up, in speeches, articles & on social media, but if y'all could hear da shit my wife says to me, U would be on the floor howling. Supersensitive mafuckas cant crack our door seal. My wife don't give a fuck about my feelings & I LOVE IT.
So here's an excerpt from our recent morning banter. Now to set the stage, I need to give you a picture of my morning routine. I love nature, so in the morning before I have my 1st cup of coffee, I get up & refill all the bird feeders around our property & water the plants.
Oh & by the way yall dont wanna see me in that garden I'm a beast. Ive been trying 2 do a little winter greenhouse activity 2 see if I can grow certain flowers in the winter & I also have a couple of orchids that belonged 2 my cousin that were dying & I'm trying 2 nurse them back
I also have a tomato plant that my wife had that was dying that I'm also trying to nurse back. Sidebar, I'm fascinated with taking dead looking plants & animals & bringing them back to life. I once had a Dalmatian, Pongo, that got hit by a tractor trailer on MLK & another
Dalmatian, Ace, who fell off a 18 foot fire escape. In both cases, the vets told me them dogs were done. I still have visions of picking Pongo from a pool of blood & picking Ace up with broken rips & legs. In both cases, I nursed them mafuckas back to full health.
Now on the plant side, Ive gotten real good at taking a dead looking plant & nursing it back to full bloom. I 1st got into this by watching this old Italian lady at local plant nurseries around town. On the weekend, no matter where I'm at, I try to hit up all the local nurseries.
Well, in DC, I would always run into this old lady at different plant nurseries around town. I would watch her very closely just to peep her gardening game. What was crazy to me is that this woman would always buy the most run down looking plants in the whole damn nursery.
Shit, sometimes, she would go out back to the dumpster & pull out plants out the garbage. This shit would drive me nuts. Why the fuck would dis old ass lady want these old ass dead looking plants? I started to think maybe them old ass plants remind her of her old ass self.
Not 2 make assumptions, 1 day I decided to ask her, "Pardon me's good ma'am, us lowly darkies jus wanted 2 knows whys a good white woman such as yoself keep buyin all deese dead lookin plants? Dey jus as dead as Us niggers." Ok, just joking, I didn't say no bullshit like that.
Seriously, I asked her about her plant choices. Check out what she said. "I'm an old woman who knows what it's like 2 be thrown away a time or two in my life. People like to throw you away when you don't bloom no more. So I just decided to make it my business to nurse old plants-
back to life just to show the world that no matter how old a thing is, with the right care, love & tending to, you can still make it bloom." Damn. Floored. Mouth on the ground. As I sat there to ponder this woman, a mysterious fog appeared out of nowhere & when I turned around,
the old lady had vanished. Ok, no the fuck she didn't. Her old slow ass didn't move 2 feet, I just thought it be cool to say that 4 all U mysterious niggas who like that White Jesus religious shit. Seriously though, she did say that & I found it very profound.
We live in a world that uses people up & throws them away. When we can no longer squeeze any more blood from the turnip, we simply toss it. So what the fuck does any of this have to do with the ruthlessness of the banter between me & my wife?
Well over the years, we have cracked horrible jokes on each other using hilarious garden/nature metaphors. I remember once after trial, I decided to decompress on my alma mater Howard University's campus. This was in the middle of the spring semester. I just sat out on the yard &
reminisced. It was a beautiful day & the students were hustling & bustling to & fro. Then my cell phone ringed. It was The Wife. "What's up baby? How was trial?" she said. "It was ok, just another day at the office." I said. "Where you at now?" "Girl, you don't ask a grown man-"
his whereabouts!" "Nigga, I will ask U what dafuck I want to ask U & U will answer promptly with briskness." Oh yeah it gets crunk quick w/us. I quickly retorted, "Well, if U must know woman, I am out here at Howard watching all these spring chickens frolicking in the sunshine &-
if U keep on w/all that mouth, I just might trade in my old hen for 1 of these nice tender spring chickens." She clapped back, "Nigga, spring chickens don't like old bulls." Then I said, "oh yes they do, besides, its nothing like watching young flowers bloom in the spring time.-
it makes me want to pull out my big long water hose & FERTILIZE THEM ALL BABY!" We both burst out laughing Checkmate. I won this round. So fast forward to this morning. As usual, the wife was complaining about me leaving dishes in the sink & not washing them & I was complaining-
about her not fixing my coffee as soon as I wake up. So I said, "That's why Imma get me a white girl who fixes my coffee & fetches my paper every morning as soon as I wake up." The Wife clapped back, "go ahead nigga & make sure she washes these damn dishes while she at it."
We both chuckled. Then I asked her what she thought about my little greenhouse & the plants I was nursing back. I told her that my cousin's orchids hadn't bloomed in 5 yrs, but I got 'em back blooming. She said sarcastically, "Oh that's nice sweetheart."
Now my wife knows Im very sensitive about my plants & gardening skills. So if she wants 2 jump rope w/1 of my nerves, she just teases me about my plants. So then she said, "when U gone throw out that old dead ass tomato plant. That shit washed up & ain't neva gone bloom no more"
Warpspeed clapback, "Dey say da same thing bout old hens. Dey ain't neva gone bloom no more. So I might as well get me a nice young spring chicken." Then she said, "Yeah I did hear that. I also heard that when stallions stop running fast, they send them to the glue factory."
Ouch. Ain't no comeback for that. A deathly silence came over the kitchen. The air became still. Then we fell into our ruthless stare down. Comprehending that she had won this round, we both burst out laughing & then got into our day. God I love this woman. "I do" all over again.

More from Dr. Alexander Hamilton | Alter Ego: AHAM

Dr. Alexander Hamilton | Alter Ego: AHAM
Dr. Alexander Hamilton...
@DrAlexHamilton
Check out Mrs. Young's words:

"I voted for Mayor Lightfoot after she came to my church because I believed in her as a Black woman."

Lori Lightfoot is a horrible human being. Not only did she attempt to do the same thing as her white predecessor &

withhold video of white police terrorizing a black person, but she lied about seeing the video and "falsely denied her administration withheld footage of the raid from Ms. Young." So miss me with this bullshit that somehow black life is safer under black politicians...

If statutorily possible, black Chicagoans should immediately launch a recall election to remove Lightfoot from office. She should never again be allowed to occupy public office. Put simply, black life isn't even safe under black leadership....

Just ask the family of Rashard Brooks why black Atlanta mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms is blocking their settlement negotiations regarding the white cop who murdered Brooks in a Wendy's drive through parking lot. I need you to comprehend precisely what Lorraine Hansberry was saying..

when she said "all my skin folk aint my kinfolk." Black people have little 2 show for their black leadership. White supremacy is so sinister that it often puts black faces on white horror. Hence, U often get the same, if not worst outcomes even when black folks are figureheads...
POLITICS
Dr. Alexander Hamilton | Alter Ego: AHAM
Dr. Alexander Hamilton...
@DrAlexHamilton
SPOILS OF WAR

#2allthosewhothoughtIwascrazy:

"When I see Harris & her husband, I see us. Will more BW begin to see the same potential 4 romantic love w/white men? Harris' next 4 yrs in the WH could help provide an answer. The power of Harris'

Black men, you are officially expendable, at least have the media tell you. And black women, to hell w/black men. White people will reward you handsomely following Harris' lead. Never forget this country was founded on breaking up black families. I predicted this would happen.

Make Michelle Obama white & Barack Obama's campaign doesn't sniff an ounce of support from black women. The reason being was that the picture of an intact black family in power was a beautiful sight for black women & fulfilled their greatest dreams. There is nothing wrong w/this.

There is nothing wrong w/wanting to see black people in love together in power. It's a beautiful sight, but what of Harris? If the Obama's marriage communicated to black people the power of black love in power, what does Kamala Harris' marriage to a white man communicate?

That black men are expendable & that 2 rise in a white world, black men are baggage that U need 2 discard. Think I'm off kilter w/this? Consider the fact that many black women in powerful positions either say little of or attribute little of their success 2 their black fathers.
GOVERNMENT
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Dr. Alexander Hamilton | Alter Ego: AHAM
Dr. Alexander Hamilton...
@DrAlexHamilton
A NIGGA CHRISTMAS

Twas the night before Christmas, when all thru the plantation,
not a nigga was voting, not even for reparations,
Strange fruit was hung on the oak trees with care,
In hopes that Catcha Freeman would soon be there,

Little Sally was nestled all snug in her bed,
While Thomas the pedophile got in his head,
I'm president, I'm white, I can have what I want,
I'll take it, she'll give it, my privilege, I'll flaunt,

While Massa was taking it, I went back to sleep,
And prayed to White Jesus my nigga soul to keep,
When out in the fields arose such an Uncle Ruckus,
I sprang from my haystack to see what the fuckus,

Away to the outhouse, I ran like Nat Turner,
I tore open the shutters and let out a murmur,
when, what to my wondering eyes would appear?,
was Steve Harvey telling slaves "we black out here,"

I looked up in sky, was it a bird or a plane?,
No, It was Oprah in a sled filled with her favorite thangs,
Dropping gifts 2 good white folks who gave her good luck
tossing bootstraps to niggas so we could pull our ass up,
SOCIETY
Dr. Alexander Hamilton | Alter Ego: AHAM
Dr. Alexander Hamilton...
@DrAlexHamilton
KILLMONGER'S DIARY

Fuck Africa. I'm American. Any African mad at dem words, kick rocks. Don't like it, jump ship. Back 2 Africa. Need receipts. How much yall made off us? U think we didn't know? Mafucka, we the vibranium that made Africa pop. We werent stole. We were sold.

Yall sold us. Then yall hv the audacity 2 come here, pass as American niggas, lecture us about racism & white supremacy, police our emotion, critique our anger & then U have the bravado 2 lecture us about fighting when yall let Europeans come & take yall shit? Fuck out of here.

Immigrants by nature unpatriotic. When times got tough, you left your country. You abdicated the responsibility to make your country better. You didn't fight. You ran. We didn't leave. We stayed. We fighters. Yall runners. Ain't know runner can tell a fighter about a damn thing.

"Erik U dont understand. We wouldve been killed." So the fuck what. We died fo our shit, but yall weren't willing 2 die for yours & now U come here trying 2 cut the line & take our place & Bitch, dont be calling me by my 1st name. We aint cool like that. Thats Mr. Killmonger 2 U.

& we ain' family. I dont play crayola politics so I dont care we got da same skin color. I ain't got no Melanin infatuation like the rest of deese niggas. I's knows what yall done did to us. I gives as much afuck about Africans as George Jefferson gave about Archie Bunker.
SOCIETY , WORLD
Dr. Alexander Hamilton | Alter Ego: AHAM
Dr. Alexander Hamilton...
@DrAlexHamilton
DEATH BY GREED

How patriotic am I? In my perfect world Steve Jobs would have died in prison and every politician, CEO & board member who helped offshore American jobs to enrich themselves would be put on trial for treason. Hear me. Capitalism is the greatest enemy of patriotism.


America created generations of oligarchs thru free & cheap labor, tax loopholes & our politicians today still allow it. In fact, they're in on it. Under the banner of globalization, we allow American companies 2 exploit both natural resources & human resources of other nations.

General Electric made billions during the Obama years & didn't pay one dime in taxes b/c the Obama administration & Democrats refused to close the tax loopholes that allowed big companies like GE & people like Donald Trump to escape paying their fair share like other Americans.

Shit, America created Donald Trump & a litany of other ridiculously wealthy mostly white oligarchs who don't give a fuck about anybody at the bottom of society. Senator Elizabeth Warren was right as hell when she said, "it's all rigged." Hell, she was apart of the rigging with-
BUSINESS

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Rising serpent \U0001f1fa\U0001f1f8
Rising serpent 🇺🇸...
@rising_serpent
It's been a long time since I said it, and who knows if there'll be a chance to do so in the future. So here goes:
I've learned more by being on Twitter than I could have imagined, and it was possible only because so many excellent people say so many amazing things. So thank you
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Not Chris Nandor
Not Chris Nandor
@pudge_nandor
From @jack:

Starting now, we are changing the way we do things at Twitter. Even though we have been following policies we created, that we thought were good and necessary, it just hasn’t had the desired effect of promoting good discourse. Effective immediately, we are changing.

The basic principle that now guides us is that instead of trying to manipulate discourse, we are opening it up, and making ourselves more transparent and accountable, and resisting attempts at censorship of us or our users.

Further, we have been fundamentally operating under the false premise that we, our our news and fact-checking partners, are smarter or better at understanding information than you, our users, are. This is a vain fiction, and we will drop this pretense.

We have long known that we are not just another social media site, but the place where citizens, governments, and organizations communicate with each other, for essential purposes. We have a great responsibility to the public to be open. So, we change to improve.

First: we will no longer proactively delete any content, except for: private information harming a person other than who posted it (e.g. doxxing, revenge porn, etc.), and any content we are legally required to remove.
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Melissa J. Hogan
Melissa J. Hogan
@melissajhogan
🧵 @DianeLangberg wrote about NDAs in Christian environments, noting “An NDA is an agreement to hide something. In the cases I have encountered it has always been an agreement to exercise power over and hide sin.... [it is] unlike our Lord.”
1/

NDAs are traditionally “non-disclosure” - don’t talk about specific X. Often in church/ministry cases - they’re overly broad - don’t talk abt *anything* re: your employment

but also may include

“non-disparagement” - don’t say anything negative about us EVEN IF IT IS TRUE
2/

Numerous articles have described the use of NDAs in Christian environments and the conflict with principles described in the very faith supposedly being promoted. I’m linking them here then I’ll offer my 20-year lawyer and victim of silencing (gag order) take on the practice.
3/

“Silence of the sheep” (2018) from @emlybelz described how the conference of catholic bishops has now banned NDAs in abuse cases but how some churches and Christian orgs still use them without

Later in 2018, @scotmcknight discussed NDAs after the Bill Hybels sex abuse scandal, noting that often the stronger party is implicated in sin because the whole reason for the NDA is bc they know that something is wrong and they don’t want it
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Jared Rubin
Jared Rubin
@jaredcrubin
Excited we finally have a draft of this paper, which attempts to provide a 'unifying theory' of the long economic divergence between the Middle East & Western Europe

As we see it, there are 3 recent theories that hit on important aspects of the divergence...

1/


One set of theories focus on the legitimating power of Islam (Rubin, @prof_ahmetkuru, Platteau). This gave religious clerics greater power, which pulled political resources away form those encouraging economic development

But these theories leave some questions unanswered...
2/

Religious legitimacy is only effective if people
care what religious authorities dictate. Given the economic consequences, why do people remain religious, and thereby render religious legitimacy effective? Is religiosity a cause or a consequence of institutional arrangements?

3/

Another set of theories focus on the religious proscriptions of Islam, particular those associated with Islamic law (@timurkuran). These laws were appropriate for the setting they formed but had unforeseeable consequences and failed to change as economic circumstances changed

4/

There are unaddressed questions here, too

Muslim rulers must have understood that Islamic law carried proscriptions that hampered economic development. Why, then, did they continue to use Islamic institutions (like courts) that promoted inefficiencies?

5/
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Lyman Stone \u77f3\u4f86\u6c11
Lyman Stone 石來民...
@lymanstoneky
the strange reality of strict calvinism is that it makes a mockery of God's claims to hate, abhort, or even be theoretically opposed to evil

the calvinist solution to the problem of evil, which I have *literally heard from the lips of a faithful well-catechized Presbyterian* is, "well, all that happens is God's will, and to do His will is to manifest goodness, and goodness gives God joy, so God must rejoice in evil"

The hypothetical I gave was, "Suppose that there was a city of Christians, and a bomber flew over the city, and the guy at the controls tripped and accidentally armed and dropped a bomb, and wiped out the city: is that God's will? What does God think of that?"

His answer in addition to the above cited the Flood, Soddom, and Nineveh.

Because we all know that God's response to the Flood was, "I REALLY liked that, it was AWESOME, it satisfied my will and purposes to obliterate my creation!"

Once you have drunk the "but muh sovrintee" Kool-Aid you cannot escape the argument that literally everything that happens is not just God's will in some philosophical sense, but His will in the sense of "things that bring him pleasure."
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Here is Editor-in-Chief of the @EpochTimes, @JasperFakkert's response to the slanted hit piece that @Buzzfeed's @HayesBrown put up 2 days ago:

Brown's article at Buzzfeed starts off pretending it's some kind of really off-the-wall notion that Hillary Clinton paid for the creation of the Steele Dossier that was then used to justify the FBI's spying on the Trump campaign & transition team.


After that awful start, he swerves to making accusations that the Epoch Times is connected to the 'cult' Falon Gong.

You can read the article here:

Brown insinuates with no real evidence whatsoever that the Epoch Times is 'Falon Gong-linked'.

The 'evidence' he supplies in his article to 'prove' @EpochTimes is 'Falon Gong-linked is this:

1) the Epoch Times' extensive *news coverage* of China's attempts to wipe out Falon Gong with intense persecution directed at the group since 1999.

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Novid Houellebecq (That's Hollaback)
Novid Houellebecq (Tha...
@GarouGothic
Ok, here is a thread for you.
What happens when you have:
Netflix
Apple
Amazon
WarnerMedia +
Disney+
SonyCrackle (Reboot)
Verizon All Access (after they buy CBS/Viacom)
UniversalSkyMedia
By 2021
Answer? Internet Slows To A Craw and Dies.
Why?
Bandwidth.

Netflix's gets 35% of all internet traffic.
Now we all know Apple Coming to Netflix Corner.
We know that WarnerMedia Planning One
We Know about Disney+
Now how will the net handle 8 Streaming Platforms all at once?
Answer - IT CANT.

But Novid, the speed, the 4K the all everything?
NOOOOO BUDDY.
Even if you could do it and even if AWS ran six million clouds, The Net Will still slow to a crawl. 35%, goes to nearly 90% if any of the 8 or all of the 8 eat at netflix's numbers.

Oh, they wouldn't be running at once.
FOOL. You forget how bad things were when game of thrones season premieres came around. HBO SERVERS FALL DOWN GO BOOM!

Now see if a season like 2021 come around and they air shows on a same day. It gets crazy. AT&T and others gonna realize they cant build out forever. Something will give and it might be your entertainment consumption big time.
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SK
SK
@sk_diary1
#DoYouKnow -The place where
Lalitha Sahasranamam -1000 names of Devi originated.

It is in Lalithambigai temple -Thirumeeyachur,Near Mayiladuthurai,TN

There is a Legend #story & it is related to this beautiful #sculpture of Kshetrapuraneswarar & Ambal Lalithambigai #Thread 👇


#Legend #story
It is believed that this is birth place of Kashyapa Maharishi’s sons, Arunan& Garudan. Arunan(charioteer of Surya)was physically handicapped.He was a Shiva devotee.Arunan wanted to visit Kailash to have Shiva Darshan,but Surya Dev denied permission.

So Arunan disguised as a girl & was on his way to Kailash.On the way Surya Dev saw this girl & outraged her modesty.Shiva was very angry with Suryan for misbehaviour & cursed him to get darkened. Whole world plunged into darkness.Surya Dev pleaded to Bhagwan Shiv to forgive him.

Shiva Bhagwan asked him to go to Thirumiyachur & worship him there. As advised, Surya Dev performed rigorous penance, placed murthi of Shiva& Parvathy on an elephant & took them to the clouds.Shiva in this temple is known as Meganathaswamy,Devi is known as Lalithambigai


Even after severe penance,Shiva does appear,so Surya Dev cries out in agony.Disturbed by his call, Parvathy protests.Siva pacifies her & offers relief to Surya Dev.The sculpture of Shiva pacifying Ambal shows her sullen from one angle &smiling from another.
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Kitze @ \U0001f1e9\U0001f1ea\ufe0f
Kitze @ 🇩🇪️...
@thekitze
To people who are under the impression that you can get rich quickly by working on an app, here are the stats for https://t.co/az8F12pf02

📈 ~12000 vistis
☑️ 109 transactions
💰 353€ profit (285 after tax)

I have spent 1.5 months on this app. You can make more $ in 2 days.

🤷‍♂️


I'm still happy that I launched a paid app bcs it involved extra work:

- backend for processing payments (+ permissions, webhooks, etc)
- integration with payment processor
- UI for license activation in Electron
- machine activation limit
- autoupdates
- mailgun emails

etc.

These things seemed super scary at first. I always thought it was way too much work and something would break. But I'm glad I persisted. So far the only problem I have is that mailgun is not delivering the license keys to certain domains like https://t.co/6Bqn0FUYXo etc. 👌

omg I just realized that me . com is an Apple domain, of course something wouldn't work with these dicks
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Emma Hilton
Emma Hilton
@FondOfBeetles
This is Kuinini ‘Nini’ Manumua, the woman who was ultimately displaced by inclusion of Laurel Hubbard.

She’s 21, and it would have been her first Olympics.
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