Thinking about my appointments at the Children's GIC where they were super careful and explored all my issues and encouraged me to consider other options before transition...

Just Kidding, that never happened! This has turned into a thread on part of my experience there. (1/12)

All that's written down in my notes are descriptions of me telling them how much I hated my body. There was no questions to why I felt like that or how I came to feel like that.

There is nothing saying "We have explored 'his' dysphoric feelings and tried to find the root of it".
This is what is written: "The sessions at GIDS have focused on understanding the intensity of conviction that he is male and the strength of his determination to transition to living fully as male and pursuing physical treatment."
It's like they only assessed how much I hated myself. Here's some more bits from my records below.
"He made it clear that he feels his female body is utterly wrong, especially with regards to height and shape, and he revealed a very intense and unrelenting preoccupation with this."
"He presents with a complex picture of desperation for physical intervention, associated with intense loathing of his female body, and a somewhat simplistic idea of what will make him feel contented."
"In a young person so intensely focused on bodily issues, communicates little about how he hopes and imagines a life interacting with others as male, especially as he currently lives a life isolated from his peers."
"His wish to transition and to fully realise his male identity has now become the central and dominating focus of his life. He brings a certain degree of all-or-nothing inflexibility and rigidity of thinking to his experience and expression of his cross gender identity."
"He meets the criteria for a diagnosis of GID. He has a clear wish for HRT & surgery. He is not managing to tolerate his physical distress as he waits for treatments to become available but experiences intense upset at his female body and has little else to focus on in his life."
What's the criteria? Well I was a tomboy who referred to my breasts as "disgusting growths" and hated being a girl. Those were my words & thoughts. I also had a clear fixation on transition as the answer to my struggles (which I now think should have been looked at more closely).
It's only now, as an adult, that I can see what was behind the words and feelings that I held back then. Maybe if someone had pushed me I could have seen it sooner.
Am I to blame that they didn't push? That they didn't bother to see if there was something more to my story? That they just assumed a kid has the introspection skills of an adult with actual life experience? I was a 14 year old, they were supposed to be the professionals. (12/12)

More from For later read

1. The death of Silicon Valley, a thread

How did Silicon Valley die? It was killed by the internet. I will explain.

Yesterday, my friend IRL asked me "Where are good old days when techies were


2. In the "good old days" Silicon Valley was about understanding technology. Silicon, to be precise. These were people who had to understand quantum mechanics, who had to build the near-miraculous devices that we now take for granted, and they had to work

3. Now, I love libertarians, and I share much of their political philosophy. But you have to be socially naive to believe that it has a chance in a real society. In those days, Silicon Valley was not a real society. It was populated by people who understood quantum mechanics

4. Then came the microcomputer revolution. It was created by people who understood how to build computers. One borderline case was Steve Jobs. People claimed that Jobs was surrounded by a "reality distortion field" - that's how good he was at understanding people, not things

5. Still, the heroes of Silicon Valley were the engineers. The people who knew how to build things. Steve Jobs, for all his understanding of people, also had quite a good understanding of technology. He had a libertarian vibe, and so did Silicon Valley
the whole point of Dunks was you could go cop them at VIM whenever you wanted for $65. this shit is like having to enter a raffle to buy milk.


like seriously why not make a ton more of them if they're gonna be so sought-after? they land at outlets? so? nike still makes money off that.

the only reason to keep making them so limited is that they KNOW all that matters is the profit on the flip and if they were readily available FEWER people would want them, not more

the whole system is super broken, but it's just gonna go the way it goes, because at this point it all caters to the secondary market. the only reason Nike can sell Jordan 1s for $200 is because the people buying them can flip them for $500

adjusted for inflation, a $65 AJ1 in 1985 is like $160—and modern-day AJ1s are made from cheaper materials in factories staffed by cheaper workers. they don't HAVE to be $200 retail. but the secondary market nuked the whole concept of what sneakers are "worth"

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हिमालय पर्वत की एक बड़ी पवित्र गुफा थी।उस गुफा के निकट ही गंगा जी बहती थी।एक बार देवर्षि नारद विचरण करते हुए वहां आ पहुंचे।वह परम पवित्र गुफा नारद जी को अत्यंत सुहावनी लगी।वहां का मनोरम प्राकृतिक दृश्य,पर्वत,नदी और वन देख उनके हृदय में श्रीहरि विष्णु की भक्ति अत्यंत बलवती हो उठी।


और देवर्षि नारद वहीं बैठकर तपस्या में लीन हो गए।इन्द्र नारद की तपस्या से घबरा गए।उन्हें हमेशा की तरह अपना सिंहासन व स्वर्ग खोने का डर सताने लगा।इसलिए इन्द्र ने नारद की तपस्या भंग करने के लिए कामदेव को उनके पास भेज दिया।वहां पहुंच कामदेव ने अपनी माया से वसंतऋतु को उत्पन्न कर दिया।


पेड़ और पौधों पर रंग बिरंगे फूल खिल गए और कोयलें कूकने लगी,पक्षी चहकने लगे।शीतल,मंद,सुगंधित और सुहावनी हवा चलने लगी।रंभा आदि अप्सराएं नाचने लगीं ।किन्तु कामदेव की किसी भी माया का नारद पे कोई प्रभाव नहीं पड़ा।तब कामदेव को डर सताने लगा कि कहीं नारद क्रोध में आकर मुझे श्राप न देदें।

जैसे ही नारद ने अपनी आंखें खोली, उसी क्षण कामदेव ने उनसे क्षमा मांगी।नारद मुनि को तनिक भी क्रोध नहीं आया और उन्होने शीघ्र ही कामदेव को क्षमा कर दिया।कामदेव प्रसन्न होकर वहां से चले गए।कामदेव के चले जाने पर देवर्षि के मन में अहंकार आ गया कि मैने कामदेव को हरा दिया।

नारद फिर कैलाश जा पहुंचे और शिवजी को अपनी विजयगाथा सुनाई।शिव समझ गए कि नारद अहंकारी हो गए हैं और अगर ये बात विष्णु जी जान गए तो नारद के लिए अच्छा नहीं होगा।ये सोचकर शिवजी ने नारद को भगवन विष्णु को ये बात बताने के लीए मना किया। परंतु नारद जी को ये बात उचित नहीं लगी।