feel like adhd is becoming really visible recently which is good! but i’m not seeing any talk of the actual really difficult aspects of having it other than like hehe can’t focus on anything (which is the fucking bane of our lives but it’s the most well-known aspect of it)

emotional dysregulation is one of the worst most destructive symptoms for me to the point it was taking over my life so much i thought i had bipolar/bpd. it’s not just getting sad or having mood swings - for me it’s anger, anger that feels as if it’s eating me from the inside out
hyperfixation sounds cute but when your brain has decided it wants to put you in a state of perpetual inability to engage in your responsibilities it’s no fun at all nor does it constitute a “superpower” that helps me get whatever i’m fixated on done. it’s more like days spent
in bed unable to drag yourself away from youtube videos about tsunamis when you have an assignment due in 2 days and mouldy cups festering on your bedside table. it’s snapping at your partner because they’re trying to stop you hyperfocusing on an argument you’re having with some
random online because your brain won’t let you leave that state (this ties in with the emotional dysregulation part massively too). it’s not being able to stop reading the fanfiction you wrote when you were 14 bc you hoarded it all and your brain decided one day it’d be funny to
look back on it and suddenly you’ve just lost three days doing fuck all but cringing at your past self
i’ve damaged and ruined friendships and relationships because of it. if people aren’t in my immediate vicinity i assume they’ve forgotten about me and i forget about them because my brain doesn’t really have any concept of object permanence which in the past led me to accuse
people of deliberately making no effort and hating me while i was incapable of keeping up with them. i look rude and unbothered because i don’t reply to things and can’t commit to anything and have no concept of time so i am always, always late. i let people down all the time
and i’m hyper aware that i seem “weird” or unable to navigate social situations very well because my lack of auditory processing ability means i take double the time to process spoken information or formulate a response and often my brain just decides not to and i have to go
“sorry what” about 5 times. if we’re not super close to the point that i can just exist like this without shame i find it massively embarrassing and just know that if we’re interacting face to face i am struggling internally lol
but yeah it’s not just hyperactive 8 year old boy disease but it’s also not just limited to not being able to concentrate
adhd and autism are sister diagnoses so a lot of the things i exhibit are very similar to autism but i don’t see nearly the amount of relatable posts like this one, for example, like “having autism is just ___ and ____ and crying” https://t.co/JSjongMPmw
(obviously a lot of the time people just do glib tweets like this off the back of their own personal experience and then they just accidentally go viral and it’s not for clout or whatever but i’ve never seen a “relatable” tweet about autism go viral or whatever)
there’s no point gatekeeping a disorder which is incredibly underdiagnosed in anyone who isn’t a cis white man or accusing ppl of making it seem like a “quirk/trend” rather than a disorder, but there’s also danger in making it seem far more “relatable” than it actually is

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Why is this the most powerful question you can ask when attempting to reach an agreement with another human being or organization?

A thread, co-written by @deanmbrody:


2/ First, “X” could be lots of things. Examples: What would need to be true for you to

- “Feel it's in our best interest for me to be CMO"
- “Feel that we’re in a good place as a company”
- “Feel that we’re on the same page”
- “Feel that we both got what we wanted from this deal

3/ Normally, we aren’t that direct. Example from startup/VC land:

Founders leave VC meetings thinking that every VC will invest, but they rarely do.

Worse over, the founders don’t know what they need to do in order to be fundable.

4/ So why should you ask the magic Q?

To get clarity.

You want to know where you stand, and what it takes to get what you want in a way that also gets them what they want.

It also holds them (mentally) accountable once the thing they need becomes true.

5/ Staying in the context of soliciting investors, the question is “what would need to be true for you to want to invest (or partner with us on this journey, etc)?”

Multiple responses to this question are likely to deliver a positive result.
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