We need to talk about our intense focus on speed over direction, we need to talk about chasing shiny things at the expense of valuable things in our lives, we need to talk.
We need to talk about silence and counting days and having no plans, and how those are okay things too.
We need to talk about comparison and how it is such a thief of progress, and how you steal from yourself every moment you put yourself down.
We need to talk about our willful blindness to how far we have come, cheating our hearts, one "do they have two heads" after another.
We need to talk about slowing down, about solo conversations in the parking lot, we need to have more of that, where we are truly thankful for where we are and where we are going.
Life is more than just ticking the boxes. There's full love and wholesome friendships to be made.
I hoped that we'd sit with our emotions, and for most of us, not having a schedule can almost come off like a disease, but hey, you are here again. It will be fast soon, so you need to treasure the silence and the solitude of your own voice in your head
You deserve some time off
And cut yourself some slack, yes you messed it, but give some credit to your capacity for screwing things up, that's a real thing too.
And hey, there will be those days when you shoulders slump from love unrequited or good not knocking on your days. Yes you deserved it...
But you didn't get it. And that can be painful, yes I know. But don't run too fast, and leave a trail of hurt in your wake, using pain to heal pain, feels good momentarily, but in the silence you know. You know how much of yourself you keep losing just to feel good with yourself.
Talk to yourself, think it through. Many situations that hold us for years just needed 20 minutes of thought. Resolve everything. And then cross check to make sure you got to the right conclusion.
It's okay to be wrong. Its okay to have misjudged, you are better person for it.
And hey, doesn't that weight feel heavy? Doesn't your shoulder hurt? You know you could drop it and declutter the emotions intertwined with each other, you know you could have, you know you can.
Sit with it, the pain of asking "maybe I am not as good as I was before?" Those are
Real questions. "maybe no one wants me?" That one too.
Ask them, don't tuck them in the deep corners of your heart and hope the answer comes magically. It may or may not, but what do you do with it when it does? Look for the answers that numb your pain? Is that it?
Maybe I need to scream out loud to get the attention, and it shows, in the rush you get when you are at the centre of every conversation. So what happens the day the spotlight is not you? I mean have you thought deeply about not being the focus for a minute? You should.
Hey, we need to talk. About all the things you sigh about, all the hmmmm and the curling you do when the lights go out.
We need to talk about taking stock, and reviewing actions. "Keep it moving" they said, but hey don't those oils that keep you going need changing?
