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Corey Quinn
@QuinnyPig 5 years, 8 months ago 674 views

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So I bought two accounts on your service--one for personal use, and one for business use. Please react, large companies!

Microsoft: WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING OH MY GOD PLEASE KILL ME AND END MY TORMENT

Slack: You're my favorite two daily active users.

Google: Fuck your business account, why would you pay us? What is wrong with you?

LinkedIn: Has either account tried premium?

GitHub: Two accounts? Sure. Okay. Okay. Sure. Your green squares graph is gonna suck.

Amazon: there are disturbing and weird crossovers between them, like your MFA—but nevermind that. Every time you spin up a new AWS account you're New To Us and must be onboarded.

Apple: WTF is a business?!

Twitter: Your account is temporarily restricted.

Dropbox: Would either account be interested in some nonsense that has nothing to do with "a folder, synced everywhere?"

MongoDB: We lost both of your accounts. Oops.

Netflix: Between those two accounts, you currently have 40 profiles spread across all 6 continents we serve. This is... fine.

Oracle: We have no idea what a personal user account might be, but we're going to audit you just the same.

WebEx: Can we take you out to dinner? You're 40% of this quarter's net new sales.

OnlyFans: I'm sorry--did you say a business account? And you're not a sex worker? Can you please explain this to one of our product managers, because we're highly confused.

The IRS: We're going to audit the piss out of you just as soon as we can find an auditor who takes one look at this thread and doesn't quit on the spot.

More from Corey Quinn

Corey Quinn
@QuinnyPig

So this #reinvent eve, I want to talk about "The Mug: A thread featuring this glorious bastard."

I've gotten a few questions to the tune of "what's @awscloud Hambone," "what's this mug you keep talking about" and "what the hell is wrong with you?"

That last one is from my parents, so we'll disregard it.

For #reinvent, AWS is "particular about slides" in the same sense as "an exploding sun is slightly warm." They send out a standardized PowerPoint slide deck template that all speakers are to use. It's usually fairly zany. This year's featured a rando line art drawing of a ham.

It also figured this drawing as well, but you don't make friends with salad.

So I labeled it "AWS Hambone," slapped it on a shirt and wore it for my keynote rebuttal, as one does.

I also inflicted this upon my child, likewise as one does.

Corey Quinn
@QuinnyPig

Lest people think I've become too far lost in the Talking Head weeds this past #reinvent week, it's now time for me to livetweet my use of a new AWS service that was announced this week.

You probably get my re:Quinnvent newsletter. Here's the system I built that generates it.

Now that CodeGuru supports Python, let's turn it loose on the "build" subservice. This is a @goserverless stack. The subcomponent features 8 Lambdas function fronted by 11 APIs Gateway.

Yes, let's get started with it!

It starts with the correct option selected. Good for it, bad for CodeCommit's veneer of legitimacy.

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Corey Quinn
@QuinnyPig

So there's a lot of confusion about what Parler being kicked off of Amazon Web Services (@awscloud) means. Let me do a quick thread to explain it to folks who aren't deep in the technical weeds...

You use an app (in this case, Parler). There's a web site you can use, and apps you can download onto your phone via Apple and Google. Those three versions of the app all talk to servers (big computers) behind the scenes.

In the Olden Days, getting those servers took months. Then you had to sign deals with companies to host those servers--they take massive amounts of power, they run hot so air conditioning is a big deal, and they need a *lot* of bandwidth.

About 15 years ago or so, Amazon (the online bookstore) had a revelation and started AWS. The idea being that instead of needing tens of thousands of dollars to get those servers built up, and spending months on it, that they would rent you these servers by the hour.

"A credit card and a few clicks of a mouse later" you were basically able to spin up huge numbers of these servers.

Corey Quinn
@QuinnyPig

And now a livetweet thread of a legal conference in the case of C21-31-BJR, Parler LLC v. @awscloud.

Parler suggests "AWS just has to flip a switch and Parler gets turned back on. Parler has been their customer for 2.5 years."

"They've met and conferred over some user content that violates not only Parler's user requirements, but also Amazon's." Yes, they'll do that, whether you want them to or not.

"I'm not on social media" says Parler's lawyer. "If I use any terms and you don't understand them, I can explain them your honor." Just go full bro and call it "dumbing things down for you" dude.

They're now saying an "algorithm" can solve their moderation problems.

Spoiler: it can not.

Corey Quinn
@QuinnyPig

If people add a letter to FAANG, the added letter is the company they work for.

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💸 Katapult provides leasing solution for e-commerce websites

🔥 It enables non-prime customers to lease durable goods online

🚩ALL founders left and $CURO owns 50% of Katapult

⁉️ What is hidden behind the $FSRV SPAC ⁉️

Here is an EASY thread 👇

Katapult was founded in 2012 and was initially called Zibby and operated by Cognical

💸 By 2015, it had raised $ 10m in equity and debt from VC funds such as Tribeca Venture Partners and Blumberg

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Chinedu Eleanya - a serial entrepreneur who later founded @GetMulberry which sells extended warranty to shoppers

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1️⃣ When customers purchase an item online, Zibby retains the rights to this item

2️⃣ Zibby rents the item to the customer

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There is a lot of bad advice floating around online when it comes to real estate investing.

Time for a stiff drink and some stuff you might not want to hear.

A thread 👇

Most real estate influencers spend 99% of their time trying to sound smart.

They purposely make things too complicated.

When you do this for a while you can tell if a property is worth buying with a napkin and 30 seconds.

The problem with being a big real estate PE firm:

You need to do good deals year after year and deploy 10s or 100s of millions in capital.

It’s a hamster wheel making others wealthy.

The advantage of being you:

One building like this can change your life.

Buying real estate that doesn’t cashflow well because values have risen 10% / yr for 10 yrs while wages have risen 3% / yr for 10 yrs is very risky.

I don’t care how long your interest rate is “fixed” for.

Markets are cyclical. Trends change. Bankruptcy is real.

If you don’t know anyone with money and you have less than $250k of your own cash real estate isn’t the best way to make money.

Even a $500k property (like the one pictured above) requires $150k down and another $100k in cash reserves.

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I’m a firm believer that more & more entrepreneurial ‘builders’ will evolve their operating company into a HoldCo

Scaling initial capital light successes (like a service co) & redeploying cash flow into concentrated bets leveraging existing know-how, infrastructure, & expertise

Why?

- lower barriers than ever to building asset light/capital light co's
- existing co infrastructure makes acquiring/building another co easy
- more non-dilutive funding options available
- talented operators/investors can use brand, capital, & know-how to scale meaningfully

But first… what is a HoldCo?

It’s fancy term for “holding company” which is an entity that owns/controls the assets of other different companies

Most HoldCo portfolio companies operate autonomously... with their own team, balance sheets, systems, processes etc.

Major capital allocation decisions are performed at the “TopCo” (ie, primary owners of the HoldCo)

Most HoldCo’s are C-Corps due to structural/tax advantages, but sometimes you see them operate as LLCs

Distributions to shareholders are less common, w/ free cash flow used instead for new acquisitions, spinning up new products/services, or using for existing portfolio co needs

Nik Sharma
@mrsharma

@jspujji @RomeenSheth @ampush @GatewayX Down!

Anurag Singh
@anuragsingh_as

#PolicybazaarIPO Long thread: There is monetary printing by RBI, there is lending by banks & finally there is the Indian IPO. “Foreign owned” company with ~1 Bn investment is selling “Indian” unicorn to “savvy” Indians for $ 6.2 Bn. Want to know how this printing works? Let’s go-

The basics: Rs 6017 Cr being raised by new shares (Rs 3750) & re-selling (Rs 2267). Face value Rs 2 offered at Rs ~1000 per share is one of a kind. Who decides the price? Examine the valuation ladder below.
With ~$ 150 Mn invested till 2017, we see $ 525 Mn rushes in after 2018

So, a company valued $1 Bn in 2018 & $ 1.5 Bn in 2019 by key investors like Tencent, suddenly “needs money” in March 2021. Falcon Edge “invests” all of $ 75 Mn in March at valuation of $ 2.65 Bn.
Enter IPO bankers a couple of months later & they value the company at $ 6.2 Bn

Why does PolicyBazaar need $ 75 Mn just 6 months before IPO & give away 2.5 times in returns? And it doesn’t even use that money as the B/S reflects appx Rs 1000 Cr in cash lying around.
What kind of a favor is that? Why do they need US investment bank for this just before IPO?

Notice 50% rise in shareholding of promotors here & a 1: 500 bonus share issue. After all, how do you print money & still keep share price at “reasonable” Rs 1000?
Without bonus issue in June 2021, each share would have costed Rs 50,000. Heard of circular valuation?

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$Art Historian* \U0001fa94$

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The last Hindu king of Pakistan.

The name Amarkot is known to all in our subcontinent as the birthplace of Emperor Akbar. When Humayun was fleeing from Sher Shah, Rana Prasad of Amarkot sheltered him and this is where Emperor Akbar was born.

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Dara Shikohar provided Rana supplies to Amarkot during his expedition to Kandahar.
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