Pith: Behind the Western Guilt Complex

My take on the courage deficit afflicting us.

One of the defining characteristics of our society is a sense of guilt.

This guilt manifests itself in the way we bend over backwards for marginalised groups, and the way we defend weakness with ferocity.

White guilt, LGBT allies and male feminists abound.
Obesity is championed as body positivity.

People are villainised and ostracised for their lack of feeling for those who struggle. You are a bad person if you are against redistribution.

Our judgement of people's character primarily takes place through this lens.
Empathy, rather than courage, has the moral high ground.

I say this merely as an observation, rather than to dismiss the merits of empathy as a virtue.

I've long wondered why this is, and have been presented with various explanations.
One is colonial and slaver guilt - that we feel ashamed of the horrors we committed as the British Empire and as white slavers in the US.

Another is our culture's roots in Christianity, where the notion of original sin breeds a sense of shame.
Most recently it was suggested that the decline of masculinity and the ascent of femininity is behind our preference for empathy, a trait more associated with women, rather than courage, a more masculine trait.
This explanation, while interesting, doesn't explain why such a rebalancing has occurred.

I've come to the conclusion that it is perhaps more straightforward than this, and is an inevitable consequence of a prosperous, peaceful society.
In times of war and strife, courage is essential to the survival of society. It is the most essential of commodities.

Meanwhile, cowardice, its shadow energy, becomes the most contemptible of traits.

In such times, the upside of empathy is limited.
As a society transitions to peace, the social value of empathy and courage starts to rejig. When there are no threats to survival, people have little excuse not to do their bit to help those that struggle.
A successful society becomes a function of the extent to which it integrates those who have fallen between the cracks.

In these times, the costs of cowardice are low and largely invisible, mainly falling on the particular coward in question.
Thus courage becomes undervalued, and empathy starts to be overvalued.

All of this makes us susceptible to guilt and shaming.
This analysis provides a granular explanation for the adage:

Bad times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. Weak men create bad times.
Prosperity creates perverse incentives, where the less hostile climate becomes inimical to the creation of strong men.

This causes the foundations of a society to crumble, before strife once again moulds men of the right character.

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"I lied about my basic beliefs in order to keep a prestigious job. Now that it will be zero-cost to me, I have a few things to say."


We know that elite institutions like the one Flier was in (partial) charge of rely on irrelevant status markers like private school education, whiteness, legacy, and ability to charm an old white guy at an interview.

Harvard's discriminatory policies are becoming increasingly well known, across the political spectrum (see, e.g., the recent lawsuit on discrimination against East Asian applications.)

It's refreshing to hear a senior administrator admits to personally opposing policies that attempt to remedy these basic flaws. These are flaws that harm his institution's ability to do cutting-edge research and to serve the public.

Harvard is being eclipsed by institutions that have different ideas about how to run a 21st Century institution. Stanford, for one; the UC system; the "public Ivys".
1/“What would need to be true for you to….X”

Why is this the most powerful question you can ask when attempting to reach an agreement with another human being or organization?

A thread, co-written by @deanmbrody:


2/ First, “X” could be lots of things. Examples: What would need to be true for you to

- “Feel it's in our best interest for me to be CMO"
- “Feel that we’re in a good place as a company”
- “Feel that we’re on the same page”
- “Feel that we both got what we wanted from this deal

3/ Normally, we aren’t that direct. Example from startup/VC land:

Founders leave VC meetings thinking that every VC will invest, but they rarely do.

Worse over, the founders don’t know what they need to do in order to be fundable.

4/ So why should you ask the magic Q?

To get clarity.

You want to know where you stand, and what it takes to get what you want in a way that also gets them what they want.

It also holds them (mentally) accountable once the thing they need becomes true.

5/ Staying in the context of soliciting investors, the question is “what would need to be true for you to want to invest (or partner with us on this journey, etc)?”

Multiple responses to this question are likely to deliver a positive result.
Assalam Alaiki dear Sister in Islam. I hope this meets you well. Hope you are keeping safe in this pandemic. May Allah preserve you and your beloved family. I would like to address the misconception and misinterpretation in your thread. Please peruse the THREAD below.


1. First off, a disclaimer. Should you feel hurt by my words in the course of the thread, then forgive me. It’s from me and not from Islam. And I probably have to improve on my delivery. And I may not quote you verbatim, but the intended meaning would be there. Thank You!

2. Standing on Imam Shafii’s quote: “And I never debated anyone but that I did not mind whether Allah clarified the truth on my tongue or his tongue” or “I never once debated anyone hoping to win the debate; rather I always wished that the truth would come from his side.”

3. Okay, into the meat (my love for meat is showing. Lol) of the thread. Even though you didn’t mention the verse that permitted polygamy, everyone knows the verse you were talking about (Q4:3).


4. Your reasons for the revelation of the verse are strange. The first time I came across such. I had to quickly consult the books on the exegeses or tafsir of the Quran written by renowned specialists!