BC POLITICS
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Good morning, post-election frivolous performative litigation followers - we've got another new filing in Seditionists v 117th Congress et al.

It's yet another motion for a Temporary Restraining Order - making it the 3rd in 3 days.

And it's a

 Now, you'd think that if you kept throwing 'emergency' paperwork at the court and the court kept saying nothing in reply that you might want to take some time and figure out what you're doing wrong, but nope. Not these buffoons.
They're still not within 50 miles of complying with Fed R Civ P 65 - and my guess is that this judge might view that as entirely a "them" problem which the court has no obligation to explain.

So they're still stuck at Step 1.

But that's honestly the least of their issues.
They have, apparently in lieu of attempting to comply with Rule 65, put "ORAL HEARING REQUESTED" in all caps right after the heading.

I'm not a litigator but I don't think that's a recognized alternative to attempting to provide notice to the adverse party.
They want to "preserve the status quo" by placing two of the three branches of government in a state of "stewardship." That's...

...unique.
I'm not sure what in the Constitution establishes this particular "checks and balances" or why technical noncompliance with the Help America Vote Act would somehow render literally every single vote cast in the 2020 election illegal enough to make that an appropriate remedy.
Also - they want to appoint "Stewards" to run the government?

Do they think this is the Lord of the Rings? Should this pleading be titled "Waiting for Aragorn"?
Apparently, that's a "yes."
And this is an epic footnote.

First of all, they forgot to include a proper citation and pincite.

Second, no, really, what the bloody hell are you people SMOKING?
This is the single most insane request I've seen in a case like this and that includes the time Orly Taitz wanted the entire Hawaii Department of Health to be arrested for treason.
This is a bananapants clownshoes performance. Except they're wearing the bananapants on their heads, the shoes on their ears, and nothing else.
I'm at a loss on this one.

I just keep staring at the boldface and italicized "Gondor has no King" on the screen.

My eyes are refusing to move further into the document.
OK. Let's give this another try.
OH.
MY.
GOD.

They want the entire government (less the judiciary) placed into "a state of stewardship" on an ex parte basis *pending* actual proceedings.

I can't even.
The (collectively, the "Usurpers") is a work of art. Especially when you're citing to an online dictionary.

Pro tip:
Invest in a good dictionary. A printed one. Cite to that.

Also, don't end citations in the middle of words.
Ohmygod -
Not only does that LOTR footnote exist but there's a callback to it IN THE SAME PARAGRAPH?
Also, I'd pay good money to see a footnote in a response that notes that saying that "the rightful King of Gondor had abandoned the throne" is a gross oversimplification that ignores the complex political realities that existed when the situation arose.
Taking the paragraph as a whole, though, we see that they are asking the court to put the entire federal government on pause temporarily until their case is heard which is a very reasonable thing that courts TOTALLY can do why are you laughing so hard ohgod a bankruptcy analogy.
And yes, they really are arguing that the government is totally unaccountable and is operating without the "legal consent of the People" because of what they perceive to be issues with compliance with a law governing the technical details of voting systems.
I say "they perceive to be issues" because I've flipped through HAVA and I'm pretty sure their comprehension of the statute is matched only by their comprehension of the rules governing TRO applications. But I'm not going to get into that today.
And they're still going with the "Judge, we are heroes and if you don't do what we say you're a coward" approach, which is always guaranteed to impress a federal judge.
They are literally arguing, as far as I can tell, that "we don't think the states had sufficient mechanisms in place to require that first time voters submit ID with absentee ballots" is "a malevolent scheme to crush the freedom and individual rights of the People."
That's not hyperbole. As far as I can tell, their entire argument is literally that the entire 2020 federal election is void ab initio because they're functionally illiterate nitwits who don't know how to read a statute.
Also, I've got no idea if the boldfaced thing at the start of para 6 is supposed to be a new heading. Doesn't really matter though. It's equally incomprehensible either way so who cares.
They are complaining about "rampant cancel culture" in a lawsuit in which they are attempting to cancel the entire 2020 election.
https://t.co/8SP1Kamehh
This sentence. Ohmygod.
They want the court to halt the operation of the entire legislative and executive branches of government and replace them with unelected stewards with vast power because too many Republicans read the Epoch Times.
Also, they're referring back to the "expert report" written by the dude with the 1-page CV that lists "marksman" and "world traveller" as 'skills' to support the claim that the markets will find replacing the government with "stewards" to be more stable and reassuring.
Because it's not like there have ever been stability issues involving Stewards.
And they think that there's a "risk of permanent deprivation of the right to cast a legal vote" without a TRO?

Seriously, no. Even if anything they argued was a thing, there's plenty of time to deal with it before the next election.
Translation:
"We're so cuckoo for cocopuffs that we've forgotten how to do even relatively simple legal analysis."
SERIOUSLY -

YOU TWO SEDITIOUS DINGBATS ARE NOMINALLY LAWYERS!!

Why are you talking about having the marksman-aviator-assclown help you with a basic legal task????
There are so many things that are wrong with this analysis - EVEN IF they were right about HAVA and they aren't even close - that it would take me a day to get through them all.
But if you're curious, we could start with "how in the name of all that is sacred, profane, or mundane does 'they didn't ask for ID correctly' violate your substantive due process rights or equal protection" and go from there.
To the extent that it is even possible to identify something that you could call a substantive legal argument in this collection of wastepaper, the arguments are so mindbendingly stupid that it's hard to convey the full extent of the carpet-chewing dumbassery in play.
It's literally "there wasn't letter-perfect compliance with a statute governing technical requirements for federal elections therefore we need a judge in Waco to appoint someone to take over the entire federal government on an interim basis."
NO.

No. You can not use purported injuries to potential plaintiffs as a basis for demanding relief.

No. That does not change if you sneak in the capital letter.
Also, they apparently just now figured out that their named plaintiff actually voted in Virginia, not in North Carolina as they previously claimed, and there's now a new declaration explaining that own-goal.
And it has been confirmed that the named plaintiff is the one who got arrested in Philly for bringing guns with him when he drove up to personally make sure that they were counting the votes the right way. https://t.co/D0Rst8tQMe
If you had asked me yesterday, I would have said that having to correct key details of your lawsuit because you failed to conduct enough of an inquiry into your client's circumstances to get their address right would be the most embarrassing part of a new filing.

But Gondor.
OK - so what's their basis for saying that Virginia failed to verify an absentee voter's identification prior to accepting a ballot?
Ah. It would appear that we want to overturn the entire government because VA doesn't ask about first time voting on the REGISTRATION FORM (not the request for an absentee ballot, but the initial registration) combined with a no-citation-assertion that there's no other process.
That's totally enough to show that they have a likelihood of success on this claim and we need to put the United States on hold until Aragorn returns. Really.
They also appear to think that identification needs to not only be presented but maintained with the ballot because what is ballot secrecy anyway.
I'd try to go through these footnotes in detail, but they're too incoherent for me to waste the time. ("due to the decrees of changes"??) There's so much that they're just --

They have no clue what they're talking about and it's painfully obvious.
Why do I think that Virginia's law actually is compliant and it's just that seditious lawyers are also really bad at statutory interpretation? And maybe also at literacy?
These raging assclowns wouldn't know a logical process if it bit them in the ass.
And this is just so totally incoherent that it's almost entirely disconnected from both reality and sanity. It's like they couldn't be bothered to try and learn anything about anything relevant to this process.
They've literally made no attempt at all to explain why the technical failure - assuming it exists at all - to verify whether someone is a first-time voter leads to "the loss of the right to government by consent of the governed."
The rest of this is basically duplicated from their prior work "MOTION for Temporary Restraining Order" (crayon and faeces on paper, 2021) so I won't bother going through it again.
And now they're calling it "an application for preliminary injunction" or a TRO or they want a hearing on a PI but without notice but they're going to prepare a motion for discovery? Huh?
And, yes, we're still using the same embarrassing signature block because why not?
But wait! There's more!

They also included a proposed TRO. And it's even more bonkers (that's a term of art) than the motion.

https://t.co/THSEVgsMwa
First of all, and this is actually a relatively minor point, but "The Court Orders that there is no federal government" doesn't exactly preserve any status quo of any kind.
NOTE FOR NONLAWYERS:

THIS IS A PROPOSED ORDER NOT AN ACTUAL ONE.

It's written as if it's drafted by the court, but it is not (and never will be) a court order. Writing proposed orders is, in general, normal. It's this specific proposed order that's pure bat guano.
So they start out by asking the court to put in an order to be issued as an ex parte TRO that the entire executive and legislature "illegitimately and unlawfully hold the mantles of office" because why even bother with a trial on the merits?
Also, there is no footnote 2. It doesn't exist. Totally missing.
They are literally asking the court to find that they are likely to prove that states failing to ask if someone registering to vote is a first-time voter will lead to the "imminent transformation of the United States into an oppressive police state."
Also, rendering the entire federal government inoperable until there is an evidentiary hearing is totes reasonable, right?
There have been news reports about this bonkers-ass batshittery. Do they really think nobody noticed this top sekrit lolsuit yet?
Also, apparently we're going to be resetting to the status quo as of 7 months from now because that's a date before the start of the 2020 election campaigns.
Now we get to the specific requests, which begin with the modest demand that everyone in Congress elected in the 2020 elections be "temporarily barred" from holding public office.
And then we are going to also temporarily and on an ex parte basis bar any Senator not elected this cycle who was involved in passing the law for being "complicit" because this will totally fix the plaintiff's concerns about due process.
Anyone who is left is allowed to stick around as "Congress Pro Tempore" but is barred from doing anything because #reasons
And then we're going to "temporarily" undo the Presidential election and second impeachment because we really don't want to leave anyone out of the party.

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Mike Dunford
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@questauthority
Election Litigation Update - Gohmert.

Reply brief is in. Let's have a look. They are, mercifully, underlength. They had 50 pages available, the PDF is 43 and some of that is cover page, signatures,

Interesting table of contents. Looks like they're packing a lot in, until you realize that much of the material that's important - like their response to the "you sued the wrong person" material and "injury in fact" take up very little space.


Looks like they decided to skip the table of authorities. Presumably GoogleDocWord ate it too bad for them to fix. This will certainly further endear them to the judge.


This is going to be interesting - leading off a reply brief with a "here's what our cause is about" is certainly a strategy. It's even a bold strategy.

Shall we dig deeper, Cotton?


"We live in a democratic republic in which the Vice President, who will more often than not be a candidate in the election, has the sole and unchallengeable power to decide who wins the election" is a hellofa take.
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Mike Dunford
Mike Dunford
@questauthority
Texas - WTF is this even - a very short reassurance thread:

1: The Texas "lawusit" against four other "battleground" states in the United States Supreme Court is legally stupid.* It is so legally stupid that I was reluctant to believe that even Ken Paxton would file it.

*My patience level is not ginormous today. Please don't try to explain to me why you think it isn't stupid for whatever other reasons because I'll be making liberal use of the airlock. Thx.

2: Yes, one state can sue another at the US Supreme Court. However, the Supreme Court gets to decide whether to take the case. One factor that they will **undoubtedly** look at is the factor of "injury."

Texas is claiming two things. First, that the states have a special interest in who becomes Vice President because of the tiebreaker. Second, that their electors are injured if their votes are "diluted" by electors from states that, in Texas's view, didn't obey their own law.


There is very little argument presented for "injury." Even less - barely a paragraph - was presented for how the defendant states caused that injury.

For lawyers, this is a signal that this is a performance of politics by "litigation" and not a serious effort.
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Mike Dunford
Mike Dunford
@questauthority
Election Litigation Update: DC - the "let's sue the Electoral College" case.

This is a bit surprising, given that as of last time I checked nobody had been served and no appearance had been entered. I suspect it's an effort to make sure the case isn't "pending" on the 6th.


And, sure enough, still no proof of service on ANY defendant, still no appearance from defense counsel. And this is denying the motion for preliminary injunction but does NOT dismiss the case - which is potentially ominous for plaintiff's counsel.


This isn't a "happy judge" kind of first paragraph. Not even a little bit. Nope.


Y'all, this isn't even directed within a few hundred miles of my direction and I sill just instinctively checked to make sure that there's room for me to hide under my desk if I have to - this is a very not happy, very federal, very judge tone.


Also - the judge just outright said there's a bunch of reasons for dismissal. And not in "might be" terms. In definite fact ones. But the case isn't dismissed yet.

If I was plaintiffs counsel, I'd definitely be clearing under my desk right now, and possibly also my underwear.
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Mike Dunford
Mike Dunford
@questauthority
Election Litigation Thread - Georgia:
OK, so since my attempt to sit back while Akiva does all the work of going through the latest proof that not only the pro se have fools for lawyers has backfired, let's take a stroll through the motion for injunctive relief.


At the start, I'd note that the motion does not appear to be going anywhere fast - despite the request that they made over 80 hours ago to have the motion heard within 48 hours.

The most recent docket entries are all routine start-of-case stuff.


Why isn't it going anywhere quickly? Allow me to direct your attention to something that my learned colleague Mr. Cohen said


Now I'm not a litigator, but if I had an emergency thing that absolutely had to be heard over a holiday weekend, I'd start by reading the relevant part of the local rules for the specific court in which I am filing my case.

In this case, this bit, in particular, seems relevant:


My next step, if I had any uncertainty at all, would be to find and use the court's after-hours emergency contact info. I might have to work some to find it, but it'll be there. Emergencies happen; there are procedures for them.

And then I'd do exactly what they tell me to do.
POLITICS
Mike Dunford
Mike Dunford
@questauthority
Good morning, all. There's a little bit of news out of Michigan already this morning - it looks like Judge Parker wanted to start the work week this week with unnecessary and stupid distractions cleared away.

So she dismissed the MI Kraken tentacle sometime after midnight.


It a 36-page opinion.

And it starts out strong.


ACK - my bad -

Sorry. I'm tweeting without caffeine and it shows. The order rejects the injunction, but it doesn't dismiss the case (yet). Skimming ahead, that appears a foregone conclusion, but technically the case isn't dismissed.

Seriously, though - this is yet another judge who is responding to these request to overturn the election with the judicial version of "you want me to *what*? Hard pass."


The judge is being kind to the plaintiffs here and doesn't mention the epiceyeburningdisasterthatwastheoriginalcomplaint. But you'll note that the judge also doesn't mention what claims were in that complaint or whether they are the same as the ones in the 1st Amended Complaint.
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Also, for anyone who wants to claim that Jovan Hutton Pulitzer (not his given name, but one he changed legally after the CueCat debacle) invented QR Codes: he did not. Like that other right-wing crazy man who claimed to have invented email, Jovan didn’t invent QR Codes.

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1/ I must stress how unbelievably complex the "Grand Bargain" theory of the Trump-Russia case is—a different thing from saying it's not substantiated. It's substantiated in *almost every single particular*—it just *also* happens to be very confusing. Not byzantine—just confusing.

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I'm not a lawyer, but I think this lawyer might not be doing a good job today of being a lawyer


"When you're driving down the street and you look over at your wife and you say, 'hey you know what, that guy is about to drive through the red light and kill that person...'"

"Senators of the United States... they're not ordinary people. They're extraordinary people in the technical sense of extraordinary people."

WHERE IS HE GOING WITH THIS?

This is what you get when your lawyer realizes he isn't getting paid upfront.

IS THE CAT LAWYER AVAILABLE
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Tim - Efficacious vs the Mutants\U0001f489 NO trampVE\U0001f3db\U0001f985
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@tmstrickl_tim
"these people are not going to take it any longer..
do not want to see our election victory stolen by a bold and radical left Democrats.
We will never concede.. when there's theft involved...had enough. We will not take it anymore, and that is what this is all about."
1/

"We will not let them silence your voices. We're not going to let it happen.

Not going to let it happen.

CROWD: Fight for Trump. Fight for Trump. Fight for Trump. Fight for Trump. Fight for Trump. Fight for Trump.
TRUMP: Thank you."
2/

"those tens of thousands of people ..
..the military, the Secret Service and we want to thank you and law enforcement ..you're doing a great job..
..but I would love it if they could be allowed to come up with us. Is that possible? Can you just let them, please?"
3/

"if Mike Pence does the right thing, we win the election.
..he has the absolute right to do it..States want to revote, the states got defrauded..they want it back. All Vice President Pence has to do is send it back to the states to recertify, and we become president"
4/

"I actually I just spoke to Mike. I said, Mike, that doesn't take courage, what takes courage is to do nothing. That takes courage, and then we are stuck .. and we have to live with that for four more years. We're just not going to let that happen. "
5/
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