I've been watching the Netflix chess show and it reminded me of the time I beat Garry Kasparov. A thread 👇 1/

So it was back in the old USSR (I gave that title to my old friend Bruce for his songs) in the late 80s. As usual, there were 24 games. On the opening day I sat across the table from Garry and tried to out psych him with my famous penetrating stare 2/
I was shocked by his audacious first move: Queen's pawn to Q4! Outrageous! Especially since he was playing black... I left immediately and spent the rest of the day in my hotel, consoling myself with some delicious Cos D'Estournel Grand Cru 1988. 3/
By day two I had drunk so much high quality wine that I was barely able to focus on the board and was seeing double. However, with two sets of chess pieces at my mental disposal, I was able to access hitherto unknown forms of play. 4/
I began with the "Triple Bishop Castle", and followed with "The pawn Tsunami". For those who are eager to learn, the latter move is when all eight of your pawns reach the opponents side of the board and are simultaneously converted to Queens. 5/
I should note that it is OK for several pawns (robotic or not) to descend from the higher board, provided your opponent has agreed to allow 3-D moves. 6/
Kasparov could not handle my skills, and despite my allowing him to phone a friend (Deep Blue), he conceded the match. 7/
Mindful that we still had 22 days to go I applied more psychological pressure by saying "You're no Boris Spassky".

A single tear fell from his eye, which I managed to capture in slow motion with my zoom lens camera. 8/
Needless to say I won the next 22 matches, which is an unprecedented streak. Still, I was disappointed to finish 23-1. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I had not lost my shit all up in his face on day one. 9/END
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