The Christmas Story (Luke 2 - New Revised Bogan Edition):

Back in the days of some Roman bastard named Caesar Augustus, he called out for a census or some shit, to count how many people the Romans had under their thumb. So everyone had to piss off back to their

own towns to do it. Shows how nothing's changed, at least they didn't have to deal with MyGov. Caesar was a bit of a dog cunt though.

So, Joseph hoofed it back to Bethlehem from Nazareth because that's where he was from, right? He had to take Mary with him, because she was his
defacto or some shit and she was knocked up. She had great fuckin' timing though, cos while they were in Bethlehem gettin' their names marked off by the Roman pigs, she decided that's where she was gonna pop her sprog! They didn't even have some you beaut section of highway for
sheilas to have their kids on. Mary did it rough, wrapped her kid in Joseph's fave Holden shirt and put Him in a manger cos no cunt had a room spare at the inn.

There were some blokes herding sheep out in the paddock near the inn, watching 'em so no bastard fucked off with
any of them while they slept. Then, out of nowhere, some winged bastard appears with light around them like it came from the PolAir chopper, and they were packin' it. But he yelled out "Oi cunt! No need to be scared, mate! I got some goss for ya! It's fuckin' great and
everyone'll fuckin' love it! Some sheila in Bethlehem just had a kid, bit of a big deal, he'll be like Eminem 'n shit, he'll save you, it'll be fuckin great! Go lookin' for a kid wrapped in a Holden shirt in a box"

...
Suddenly the angels mates all rocked up, the shepherds thought they'd eaten some bad mushies. They were all sayin':

Yeah, God's a bit fuckin' great
and you know who else is great? His fuckin' mates!

When the angels packed up their shit and pissed off back to heaven
the shepherds looked at each other, shrugged, and said "why fuckin' not, we got nothin' better to do than watch these woolly fucks. Let's go 'n see what all the fuss is about",

They took a hike to Bethlehem and found the baby in the Holden shirt, passed out in a box in a barn
When they had enough of a gander they went and stated tellin' every Tom, Dick, 'n Harry about what the winged cunts had told 'em. Everyone who caught wind of it was fuckin' stoked!

Mary sat down and had think about what was goin' on, probably punched a couple of cones, who knows
The shepherds got bored and decided to fuck of back to where they were from to tell everyone about the kid and how fuckin' sick God was.

Eight days later when his parents decided to name him, they did that thing where they cut his foreskin off and called him Jesus.
@RainMorgan33

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This is NONSENSE. The people who take photos with their books on instagram are known to be voracious readers who graciously take time to review books and recommend them to their followers. Part of their medium is to take elaborate, beautiful photos of books. Die mad, Guardian.


THEY DO READ THEM, YOU JUDGY, RACOON-PICKED TRASH BIN


If you come for Bookstagram, i will fight you.

In appreciation, here are some of my favourite bookstagrams of my books: (photos by lit_nerd37, mybookacademy, bookswrotemystory, and scorpio_books)

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Harvard's discriminatory policies are becoming increasingly well known, across the political spectrum (see, e.g., the recent lawsuit on discrimination against East Asian applications.)

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