Once upon a time there was a little badger. She was a fierce little thing, but she felt lonely. And the longer she was alone, the more anxious she got - which made her more likely to snap at all the other animals, which led to them giving her a wide berth.
"No," said the badger. And then thinking nothing of it, she turned to leave.
"Ah, but I see a burger right here." Said the dinosaur.
The badger nodded her thanks and the friends continued on.
"Excuse me," the badger said, "we're looking for a herd of cows. Have you seen any?"
"Oh yes," said the kiwi. "The men from Maccy's were taking them somewhere"
"Oh no!" Cried the cow. "The killers of my kind! We have to save them!"
The moose heard this and stopped his taunting of the bear. "Why?"
The bear laughed, "You're planning to take on McDonald's by yourself? You're just a tiny badger!"
"Sure," the badger said. "I'm in too!" Said the kiwi. "Besides, I'm craving Maccy's chicken."
"But it's not really chicken." The cow said in confusion.
"Oh, you're not from the US, are you?" The badger said thoughtfully. "Our food regulations suck donkey balls over here."
"Bloody Americans!" The kiwi groaned in exasperation.
So the strange group of a badger, a cow, a kiwi, a moose, and a bear headed off to rescue the cow's herd from the evil McDonald's. When they arrived, they found a terrifying fortress ahead of them.
Suddenly, they heard laughter from behind them. The dinosaur had followed them. "That sounds like fun. Here, I'll get the door for you."
The small area was soon filled with panicked cries of cows as the conveyor belt began moving.
The friends and the herd ran away as the building burned
Until the dinosaur got hungry of course, but that's a story for another day.
More from For later read
the whole point of Dunks was you could go cop them at VIM whenever you wanted for $65. this shit is like having to enter a raffle to buy milk.
like seriously why not make a ton more of them if they're gonna be so sought-after? they land at outlets? so? nike still makes money off that.
the only reason to keep making them so limited is that they KNOW all that matters is the profit on the flip and if they were readily available FEWER people would want them, not more
the whole system is super broken, but it's just gonna go the way it goes, because at this point it all caters to the secondary market. the only reason Nike can sell Jordan 1s for $200 is because the people buying them can flip them for $500
adjusted for inflation, a $65 AJ1 in 1985 is like $160—and modern-day AJ1s are made from cheaper materials in factories staffed by cheaper workers. they don't HAVE to be $200 retail. but the secondary market nuked the whole concept of what sneakers are "worth"
\U0001f91e ONLINE RAFFLE is available from @bodega for the upcoming "UNLV" Nike Dunk Low Retro. Open until 5 PM ET on 2/16.
— Kicks Deals (@KicksDeals) February 15, 2021
\u27a1\ufe0f\u27a1\ufe0f https://t.co/JxJlyPuJVo pic.twitter.com/zenWOCDg4L
like seriously why not make a ton more of them if they're gonna be so sought-after? they land at outlets? so? nike still makes money off that.
the only reason to keep making them so limited is that they KNOW all that matters is the profit on the flip and if they were readily available FEWER people would want them, not more
the whole system is super broken, but it's just gonna go the way it goes, because at this point it all caters to the secondary market. the only reason Nike can sell Jordan 1s for $200 is because the people buying them can flip them for $500
adjusted for inflation, a $65 AJ1 in 1985 is like $160—and modern-day AJ1s are made from cheaper materials in factories staffed by cheaper workers. they don't HAVE to be $200 retail. but the secondary market nuked the whole concept of what sneakers are "worth"
