@PinkerbellPixie Once upon a time there was a little badger…

@PinkerbellPixie Then one day she came across a cow crying by himself in a field. He had gotten separated from his herd and was scared. The badger thought the cow was being silly, but he looked so pathetic that she couldn't help but feel sorry for him. "Fine, I'll help you find your herd."

@PinkerbellPixie They wandered through the plains together, but the herd was nowhere to be found. Then one day, they came across a fearsome dinosaur picking her teeth with bones. "Hello!" Said the badger, fearless as always, "we're looking for a herd of cows. Have you seen any?"

@PinkerbellPixie "... Maybe." The dinosaur replied. "It's hard to remember on an empty stomach tho. Do you have any wine, cheese, or burgers on you?"

"No," said the badger. And then thinking nothing of it, she turned to leave.

"Ah, but I see a burger right here." Said the dinosaur.

@PinkerbellPixie The dinosaur advanced on the poor frightened cow who just trembled in terror. Realizing her friend was in trouble, the badger snarled and scratched the dinosaur on the nose with her claws. "My friend is not a burger!" She shouted angrily.

@PinkerbellPixie The dinosaur was shocked. No one had ever gotten between her and her food before. "Hmm, you're a strange one." She thought for a moment, then added, "there was a herd over there, but some men came and took them away."

The badger nodded her thanks and the friends continued on.

@PinkerbellPixie A little while later, they came across a bear and a moose fighting. Watching the fight in amusement was a little kiwi.

"Excuse me," the badger said, "we're looking for a herd of cows. Have you seen any?"

"Oh yes," said the kiwi. "The men from Maccy's were taking them somewhere"

@PinkerbellPixie "Maccy's? What's that?" Asked the badger. "I think you Americans call it McDonald's." Replied the kiwi.

"Oh no!" Cried the cow. "The killers of my kind! We have to save them!"

The moose heard this and stopped his taunting of the bear. "Why?"

@PinkerbellPixie "Because they're my family!" Said the cow. The badger nodded, "Okay. Where can we find this McDonald's or Maccy's or whatever they're called?"

The bear laughed, "You're planning to take on McDonald's by yourself? You're just a tiny badger!"

@PinkerbellPixie The badger bared her teeth, "I can take on anyone! I'm not afraid!" The moose laughed, "That sounds like fun! Can I help?"

"Sure," the badger said. "I'm in too!" Said the kiwi. "Besides, I'm craving Maccy's chicken."

"But it's not really chicken." The cow said in confusion.

@PinkerbellPixie "What do you mean it's not really chicken?! Of course it's chicken!" The kiwi said indignantly.

"Oh, you're not from the US, are you?" The badger said thoughtfully. "Our food regulations suck donkey balls over here."

"Bloody Americans!" The kiwi groaned in exasperation.

@PinkerbellPixie "You guys are weird." The bear said. "I'm coming too."

So the strange group of a badger, a cow, a kiwi, a moose, and a bear headed off to rescue the cow's herd from the evil McDonald's. When they arrived, they found a terrifying fortress ahead of them.

@PinkerbellPixie "How are we gonna get in?" Asked the bear with an amused smirk. The badger blinked up at him, "I thought we'd just go in the front door."

Suddenly, they heard laughter from behind them. The dinosaur had followed them. "That sounds like fun. Here, I'll get the door for you."

@PinkerbellPixie The dinosaur walked casually forward and then kicked the front door in. Immediately, a group of men came forward with tranquilizer guns, but the dinosaur just laughed at the darts bounced off her thick scales. The friends made quick work of the evil men.

@PinkerbellPixie Finally, in a small holding cell, they found the herd. They had been crammed in with hardly any room to move. The cow immediately set to work trying to free his family, but his hooves couldn't work the intricate locks.

@PinkerbellPixie The bear leaned against panel, a bit tired from all the fighting. Suddenly, they heard machines whirring to life. He'd accidentally turned on the killing machines!

The small area was soon filled with panicked cries of cows as the conveyor belt began moving.

@PinkerbellPixie The moose jumped up and kicked the machine, jamming it just long enough for the clever little kiwi to pick the lock with his beak. The cows quickly rushed out of the cage just in time!

@PinkerbellPixie On the way out of the factory, the moose decided to make sure it could never be used again. So he kicked over everything he could find until finally a spark was created from the electrical equipment and a fire was started.

The friends and the herd ran away as the building burned

@PinkerbellPixie They eventually settled in a nice pasture near a forest and the friends all lived happily ever after.

Until the dinosaur got hungry of course, but that's a story for another day.

Once upon a time there was a little badger. She was a fierce little thing, but she felt lonely. And the longer she was alone, the more anxious she got - which made her more likely to snap at all the other animals, which led to them giving her a wide berth.

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