Some thoughts on episode 53 of #Hercai

Love,that is not real,has no passion. Its fire turns into embers, it doesn’t not smell. The day, the night, the moon&year burn without sun, light, comfort&sleep.
Ömer Hayyam

#Reyyan #Miran #ReyMir #EbruŞahin #AkınAkınözü

The praise in this episode goes foremost to Ebru because she portrayed Reyyan so realistically like a woman who truly lost her unborn child. I was in awe and pain watching her along the episode, all her breakdowns and tears were so real.
Of course also Akın took his part and did his part masterfully, but he rightfully was the one who stood aside in this specific episode that needed to be about Reyyan’s pain and thus concentrated on Ebru.
And last but not least, if I say thank you to something that B gave us this year, then it’s to have Ali as our director. Also in this episode we saw the artistic eye behind every shot and I loved it.
I don’t know who wrote ep. 52 but ep. 53 was going strong once more on symbols: roses, stones, fire and trees were incorporated and especially the ReyMir dialogues were written very well. I truly loved every ReyMir scene.
So let's get into it.
Azize tries to claim up the pit by herself but she can’t because of her burnt hands. It’s mini parallelism to episode 51 in which she tries to fix her praying beans but she cannot.
Here she tries to get out of the pit she has fallen into (very metaphorical too for the point story Azize is in right now) but again A. can’t because of her wounded hands. So again the question arises: can we heal others if we are still on fire&we still feel our wounds?
Can Azize redeem herself while she is still hurt and harmed? I for myself read her not being able to get out of it as a way of: you have to heal first yourself and then you can try to heal others.
- In dramatic moments Miran only and always looks at Reyyan. Also this time when he was taken away by the police he looked only back at her.
- We see the rose in bloom when Reyyan escapes from the Shadoglu mansion and when she jumps over to the house Miran bought for them. And we see the rose again when Shükran waters it.
- Miran sensed Reyyan’s presence in bed and he embraced and shielded her and Reyyan moved her head close to Miran’s chest and heart.
- M: “I'll hold back my anger no matter what. Trust me, ok?”
- M: “You, me, we … we will be fine. We won’t forget but we will be fine.”
R: “How can I stand and stop? How can I one day tell my child that I lost both his sister/brother&his father in one day? Will he not ask me why I didn’t save him? Why didn’t you follow him? Why didn’t you burn whole Midyat for him?”
▶️I loved this scene because it shows once more that ReyMir love is stronger and more stable than it ever was for Dilsha/Hazar and for Ayse/Nashu’s love. Reyyan’s words and actions reminded me so much when Miran told Hazar at the entrance of the cemetery+
that he didn’t do/fight enough for Dilsha. He just accepted but didn’t fight to find D. and let her tell him to his face that she no longer wanted him. The same goes to Ayse/Azize: she just accepted that N. apparently remarried another woman but did she turn Midyat+
+upside down so that N. had a chance to directly tell her he no longer wanted her/was in love with her? Both M. and Reyyan fight for their respective lover and love. R. was determined to go after M. no matter what the cost would be, the same way he always did for her.
- Miran helping Mahmoud and not letting him behind when he was shot. It’s another proof of Miran’s good heart, he had all the right to just leave him behind...after all Mahmoud is Azize’s most trusted man. Why should he help him?
- You will laugh at me now but when Mahmoud shot Miran’s handcuffs to free him, it got me so much Kate and Jack vibes of Titanic when Kate opened Jack’s handcuffs with the axe by pure luck.😂
Mahfuz: “If your marriage collapses due to the appearance of D, then you never had any marriage.”
▶️I was quite shocked when Mahfuz told this directly to Zehra’s face… but then I thought maybe he still has feelings for her!?
To be honest I didn’t understand this very drastic act of Esma. Especially because she didn’t give Firat the time nor space to elaborate what she just finally told him about his past.
I can understand this storyline was used to get ZeyFir closer to each other but that’s it for me. I am much more looking forward to the fact that F. is a real Aslanbey and how it will play out with Fusun. The only thing I found beautiful in this scene was when Firat+
+hugged Esma and laid his head onto her chest, I got a flashback to Esma's story when she said that Firat laid on her chest as newborn baby and he held onto her hand so strongly as if he knew she would give him away.
This parallelism to see now grown up Firat in the same position but knowing the whole truth about what happened to his mother and what she went through got me emotional.
R: “I am tired of living with this fear.”
N: “Everything that happened to u is my fault. I made u go through this pain. I couldn’t protect you. (...) At such an age, I learned (…) U taught me all this. Now, I want to fix everything that I destroyed+
+I promise you, I'll fix everything. I will ask everyone who made you cry. I will go and take M. from Fusun Aslanbey at the risk of my life."
▶️The protection of R. by Nashu was long overdue and I liked him acknowledging all this to her and saying it out loud but what+
+got me angry is that also here Nashu did not apologize in any kind of way to R. for what he had done to her in the past. It was the same with Miran a few episodes back: u are my grandson/granddaughter, u are my blood etc. but he never asked him/her for forgiveness.
Azize: “Don’t take my life before I heard once “mum” from the lips of my child.”
Azize: “We have become both a knife and a wound for each other.”
▶️Incredible how the tables have turned for Azize in the first sentence. If we think that her original plan was to deprive exactly her own son to call his son “son” even once in his life. Now she asks exactly for this herself.
- Fusun knows that Mahfuz is Reyyan’s dad but Harun doesn’t know (apparently)

- Hazar and Zehra were both at the hotel where Dilsha was kept
- Zehra eavesdropping in the hotel room that Harzar told Reyyan about Mahfuz being her dad but she seems to not know that Reyyan met Mahfuz before and that R. knows who Mahfuz really is

- Cihan knows about Hazar being Ayse/Nashu son but he didn't tell Hazar so far
- Fusun is ready to sacrifice Mahfuz as long as Dilsha is alive

- Cihan: “You stole my past and my mother.”
M: “If you yell at her again! I am warning you what will happen if you come close to my wife again.”
▶️I loved that we got the proof that Miran accepted that family dinner in ep. 51 only for Reyyan’s happiness.
We see how uncomfortable Miran is in all this and that he has LONG LONG LONG not forgotten what her family made her go through. He didn’t forgive anyone for what they did to Reyyan. So, I remember he was attacked by some ppl in an unfair kind of way when they said+
+“how fast he has forgotten” in ep.51 and went for a family dinner. But he put his own unease aside just to make Reyyan happy. I also loved the fact that Reyyan held it together until Miran was back with her.
She stood up against Cihan as she already did in ep. 51 but crumbled when she saw that Miran was safe and sound.
R: “I never thought of myself. Thinking about someone else, I didn’t think about myself at all. All the time I did not pay attention to my pain, I kept it to myself. (...) Please, don’t make me pay more. I don’t want to pay anymore.
I don’t know how to handle this, Miran. (..) I found out and you were not with me. You were not there. Where have you been? I learned from Zeynep, from Zeynep! Where have you been Miran?”
▶️I loved that R. was finally vocal about what happened to her and that she told M. she no longer wants to pay for it. That she always thinks about the others instead about herself. I liked that she finally yelled, screamed and smashed stuff as Miran always told her
+to do, literally to “let it out”. R. finally did because she felt safe with him. What surprised me the most though in this scene is that for R. M’s uncontrollable anger is the biggest issue¬ that M lied to her or that he didn’t tell her himself about the baby loss.
Of course she “accused him” of this during the talk too, but her main concern was his anger management and that one day she would lose him because he becomes either a killer or a victim, which of course, I totally understand as well.
For me personally a big problem was in this whole story that M. lied/betrayed her trust and that it was Zeynep told her + him leaving her in that DAMN hut alone again! As the writers made his “anger management” R’s main concern, and not his betrayal of trust and truth+
+speaking, I don’t understand why they didn’t make M. tell her from the beginning with. I mean, he could have told R when they were in the hut but they didn’t have enough time to talk about it properly bc ZeyFir came over& M. stormed off after the sweets revelation.
In a way maybe it would have been even better when R. had a moment to talk to Z. and open up to her. All the worry and stress for M. would still hold its place and she could still tell him that in such a moment where she needed him the most, he gave in again in his+
+uncontrollable anger. Ama, who am I to judge, right?
I found it very well done how we switched from ReyMir talking about their lost baby/M’s anger management (the audience knows though that we talk about a “with intention killed fetus by Fusun”) to a +
+ hospital scene in which we see Firat who probably wished to have been a killed fetus to begin with. From a “killed” fetus of ReyMir to Firat as a fetus which should have been killed according to its own mother .... that transition was really well done.
M: “What if we try? We came here to send our angel up to heaven.”
R: “We even didn’t see your face. Who would you look like? I always prayed that you have your dad’s eyes. I should have prayed about your health.”
M: “You were right, I had to be there. Forgive me. Listen, I swear to you that from now on I wont give into anger.”
▶️I loved how this whole scene was concentrated on Reyyan and Reyyan’s pain only.
It was mostly a monologue and M. was silent and was supporting R. in her grief without making it about his grief or how he feels. I loved the choice to use a flying lantern filled with the symbol of FIRE to underline ReyMir’s shared pain. The mourning of the baby is a+
+wound/hurt they both share together now. Until now in the storyline, they both had their “individual” fires: Miran burned from regret and what he has done to Reyyan. Reyyan herself burned from what kind of evil was done to her by Miran.
So the loss of the child is a hurt and pain they will share together from now on and which will make their relationship even stronger. Another thing I loved was that Miran asked Reyyan if he could take to their home when she crumbled into his arms.
She was so vulnerable and fragile in his arms but still he asked her for permission and if it was what she wanted and needed. Like he asked for her permission to dance in episode 51 in a happy moment, he asks her also in such a dramatic moment.
I think this is a huge step forward for Miran’s character evolution… whereas in S2 he decided what was best for them mostly alone, in S3 he asks her (we forget ep.52). Something no one ever did in Reyyan’s life because everyone thinks they can decide for her.
Nashu: “I am sorry Ayse. Very sorry. I will reunite you with your son and I will with Cihan. We owe them, I will fix everything.”
▶️What I still don’t get is the way Nashu is written at the moment.
Or better said: I don’t understand how it comes that it’s Nashu who asks Ayse/Azize for forgiveness if:

1) He should have asked forgiveness to Reyyan and Miran first and foremost but didn’t up until now but does so to Ayse/Azize.
2) Also if Ayse is the love of your life, this woman has hidden the mother of your grandson and the love of your son for 30 (!!!) years! We can only imagine what kind of evil she did to Dilsha, what kind of evil she did to Miran as a toddler and all his adult life … +
and u moustache head go and say “I'm sorry” to this woman!?
3) If someone has to say sorry in all this it’s Azize/Ayse. But she keeps “only” saying I'll fix everything but never says “I am sorry for all the pain I’ve caused to our son/our grandson/our granddaughter.”
4) Just in this episode N. goes in front of Fusun and says: “I consider those who test me with my children&grandchildren as my enemies.” Where is ur consistency here? A. is the one who tested u the most for 30 years. And u say: “I'm sorry” to her? What did I miss here?
I loved the detail of the red light outside of ReyMir’s hut that looked like the red laterne when Miran talked to his angel baby. A very beautiful and heartbreaking scene executed masterfully by Akın.
What I also liked and saw very much as a character growth compared to M. in S2: he did not show his pain to R. directly or made her “shut up” because he was talking about his pain. Don’t get me wrong, of course Miran has also the right to grief, but I liked it that he+
+held it back and was strong for Reyyan. That she could be fragile and hurt and cry in his arms and that he for once was her mountain to lean on. Finally I saw a glimpse of the mountain Reyyan talked about in Ep.4: “I thought you were a mountain.”
I seriously don’t get where the writers are trying to take Yaren and Harun’s relationship. Wasn’t that guy hating Y. 5 minutes ago and asked Aslan when he would finally get rid of her? When did cat and mouse fall in love?
And what got me even more confused was Y.’s reaction when seeing Firat. As if she was offended and hurt that he did not look at her… come on, if the writers want to make YarHur a thing then don’t send ambiguous signs here. And for God’s sake no triangle relationship.
Make Yaren suffer, suffer, suffer! We are waiting for 53 episodes to see this!
R: “You grabbed our hand and became our hope (umut).”
▶️A very, very, very touching scene when Reyyan wrote the letter to the surviving baby. I cried with Ebru’s performance multiple times in this episode and I am really in+
+amaze for being able to interpret a mother who has lost her baby, it was very realistically executed by Ebru. Also in this scene we witness once more why R. is so different in elaborating her pain. Again, she does not allow that grief and pain to blacken her heart.
Even now that she lost a child, R is not revengeful or full of hate towards anyone. She writes down her feelings&encloses them in the box which Mah’s note said: “let the child grow up with his mother&father”.
She wants to be strong for the child that survived. Everybody, please take lessons from this woman!
Ep. 29: M. tells R. that she taught him what it means to have hope
Ep. 29: M. gives back hope to R. in form of freeing a dove and letting her fly
Ep. 53: R. writes about hope in her letter ▶️ “You grabbed our hand and became our hope (umut).”
Ep. 53: Miran says that their unborn child made himself create his name. > “He is our hope”.
▶️I loved how in this episode both, Reyyan and Miran, individually talked about hope. Reyyan wrote in her letter that the child who survived became their hope.
Miran in the morning says that they could name their baby, if it’s a boy, “umut” as he created his own story. “He became hope (umut) for us.”
Umut as their child and umut taught to Miran by Reyyan. So, it would be an homage to the child itself but also to Reyyan.❤️❤️
I was laughing at M. for putting R. batter, not one, not two but three times on her nose. I like playful Miran, I wanna see him more. :)
I loved the parallel line to episode 30 “The place where you are is always spring” and also when Miran said:
“What should we do? Maybe get married”. This time it’s Miran who talks about a 3rd wedding, we already had Reyyan saying: “I’ll walk with my bridal dress” in episode 44 and both of them talking about a wedding party in episode 42.
So, after all this foreshadowing, if u won’t give us a 3rd wedding in which both can enjoy their day to the max. I’ll personally board a plane to Midyat and organize it. :)
G: “What happened the other day…”
F: “Let’s not talk now, I’ll call u, ok?”
I'm glad the writers acknowledge to not just forget about what F. found out and to let him talk about it. I'd like to see more G-F.&even Miran scenes taking down Fusun together.
Let me say how much I loved the choice of the director to let them meet on a wide open road, not the fact that D is alive, but the choice to make Hazar walk alone on that road first. We see along that road again the symbol of STONES.
Hazar walking alone represents him after her death when he had to walk alone on the road of life. Then he stops and sees the car appear, waiting for the person, then recognizing her and he starts walking towards her and D. towards Hazar.
The music choice in this scene and the mingle with capturing first Reyyan and then Miran and then both ReyMir walking towards each other with the lyrics that say “I didn’t enjoy my happiness, I didn't write such a fate for myself” was really, really touching.
Both destinies of both couples DilHaz and ReyMir were written and orchestrated by Azize, they wouldn't have written such a fate for themselves if not for the evilness of this woman. What I noticed but haven’t read so far in any other comments:
I had the impression that D. was walking very strangely, especially her feet seemed really strange to me.
Anyone else noticed this? And what I need to say here too: Serhat’s acting here was beyond perfection: he really looked like he was seeing a ghost. Bravo to him!
After having more or less digested Miran’s behaviour in episode 52, I loved that we had him back on track in episode 53 in which we saw that the most important thing is to make Reyyan happy as he promised to her and to himself.
He made artificial snow to ease her pain and to forget. He is living up to his promises “I will not answer this question with words but with actions.” In episode 50 he brought her to Mavi, now he produces artificial snow for her happiness.
I loved the fact that in the close-up ReyMir were walking towards each other and came to halt together in the snow under the tree (the snow and it's cold as metaphorical for a difficult moment in their lives together).
The loss of the baby is hard on them, their hearts got cold but still they hold onto each other&their love. I loved that it was R. who took M’s hand (Miran’s only wish to her: always hold my hand and never let go)& I loved the fact that they were standing under a tree
Because although “children pain for the sins of their father”, they are never letting go of each other and their great love.❤️
And that’s a wrap for this year 2020 and for Fridays with Hercai! 😓 See you all on the other side or better said in 2021 and on Sundays.🥳
May it be a beautiful and healthy New Year 2021 for everyone.🦋🍀 Stay safe!

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Great article from @AsheSchow. I lived thru the 'Satanic Panic' of the 1980's/early 1990's asking myself "Has eveyrbody lost their GODDAMN MINDS?!"

The 3 big things that made the 1980's/early 1990's surreal for me.

1) Satanic Panic - satanism in the day cares ahhhh!

2) "Repressed memory" syndrome

3) Facilitated Communication [FC]

All 3 led to massive abuse.

"Therapists" -and I use the term to describe these quacks loosely - would hypnotize people & convince they they were 'reliving' past memories of Mom & Dad killing babies in Satanic rituals in the basement while they were growing up.

Other 'therapists' would badger kids until they invented stories about watching alligators eat babies dropped into a lake from a hot air balloon. Kids would deny anything happened for hours until the therapist 'broke through' and 'found' the 'truth'.

FC was a movement that started with the claim severely handicapped individuals were able to 'type' legible sentences & communicate if a 'helper' guided their hands over a keyboard.

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Following @BAUDEGS I have experienced hateful and propagandist tweets time after time. I have been shocked that an academic community would be so reckless with their publications. So I did some research.
The question is:
Is this an official account for Bahcesehir Uni (Bau)?

Bahcesehir Uni, BAU has an official website which links to their social media, leading to their Twitter account @Bahcesehir

BAU’s official Twitter account

BAU has many departments, which all have separate accounts. Nowhere among them did I find @BAUDEGS
@BAUOrganization @ApplyBAU @adayBAU @BAUAlumniCenter @bahcesehirfbe @baufens @CyprusBau @bauiisbf @bauglobal @bahcesehirebe @BAUintBatumi @BAUiletisim @BAUSaglik @bauebf @TIPBAU

Nowhere among them was @BAUDEGS to find