Stole this from a friend but I think it really captures my …

It is completely possible to reconcile political differences over tax policy or how many dog catchers to have. If you can’t be civil over policy issues, then the problem is internal, not external.

That said, most of the current GOP positions are really judgements on things that have a moral, not political landscape and most of them (gay rights, BLM, immigration, etc) all involve judging the validity of someone else

(is your marriage valid? Are you equally protected? Are you ‘legal’?).

These are moral judgements that aren’t the same class as policy differences. People aren’t really listening to the calls for civility coming from the same mouths that deny their validity as people.

Many Trump supporters like him because he deregulates or lowers taxes or some other reasonable policy choice, not his polemics on social issues. I get that.

But Pinochet got the Chilean economy going while throwing the opposition out of helicopters.
Stalin mechanized agriculture but ran gulags in Siberia for gays.

A lot of people really can’t see past the moral alignment problems in your support of a political candidate for policy or tax reasons. And they see how you value them, their validity and their role in your life and society in your vote.

Hope this explains the issue some of y’all seem to be struggling with when you call for “civility” and moving into better political discourse and get responses that are unfriending or unfollowing.

One other thought. I know a lot of you are well-meaning and have good hearts and really don’t understand why people they consider friends would disconnect from them.

From their perspective, they perceive the moral importance behind your political stance as clarity for them: you really don’t see the real “them” inclusive of their experience and identity.

If you can hold that moral position and claim to be their friend, one of those must be false to them, logically. In short, the evidence of your support for a candidate or party that have positions that are amoral attack on themselves requires them to assess your past

relationship as shallow and meaningless as you clearly didn’t connect with the real them if you can hold those political positions.

As a result, unfriending isn’t much of a controversial act.