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Saved by @CodyyyGardner

šŸ¤” Thread: More of the wrong thing is less
(or, how I stepped off the hamster wheel)

Iā€™m going to share a personal story with hope that it inspires at least one person to re-examine their definition of success šŸ‘‡

 Through hard work and an unfair share of luck, Iā€™ve done some cool ā€œbucket listā€ things in my career:

āœ…Raised VC from the worldsā€™ top firms
āœ…Helped build 100ā€™s of millions in revenue from nothing
āœ…Rang the bell at the NYSE
āœ…Met & did deals with billionaires & business icons
These are things I dreamed about when I was young and I treasure some of the memories. But when they finally happened I felt surprisingly unfulfilled. I was scoring lots of points but didnā€™t feel like I was winning.
Then a few years ago during a board meeting I had a moment of clarity. I looked around the table at 10 people, all absurdly successful by financial measures. There wasnā€™t a single person I wanted to emulate. Most were unhealthy and several had told me that they were unhappy.
Within months I walked away from from a 7-figure salary, moved my family to Boulder, & havenā€™t looked back. Donā€™t get me wrong, Iā€™m a capitalist & like money as much as anyone. But for me it's not the thing, and *more of the wrong thing is less*.
Too many of us build our career without being deliberate about what weā€™re building *toward*. Thereā€™s a famous Yogi Berra quote, ā€œWhen you come to a fork in the road, take it.ā€ I used to recite this quote a lot - when opportunity knocks, I answer! But...
...over the years I've realized that opportunity can become a trap. Hereā€™s why: Smart, driven people (Iā€™m talking to you Enneagram 3ā€™s and 8ā€™s) will find a way to succeed in just about any situation. This can be both a blessing and a curse. The blessing is obvious, but...
...the curse comes when you point your talent & energy in the wrong direction and it quickly compounds into a monster that you never intended to create. This ā€œachievement trapā€ doesnā€™t get talked about but itā€™s real.
In my case after 20 years of pursuing a misguided definition of success, I hit a wall. I couldnā€™t spend another day chasing more of the wrong thing. I thrive on ideas, creation, & human connection - money and status arenā€™t my ā€œwhyā€.
The good news is we can hit always hit CTRL-ALT-DEL. If you build the life you once wanted, then realize you were wrong, you can reboot, scary as it may seem. This means you will have less, but less of the *wrong thing*, which makes space for the right things.
Paradoxically having less tends to result in a feeling of abundance, whereas having more - especially of the wrong things - results in a feeling of scarcity (a.k.a. ā€œThe Rat Raceā€).
We know many of these things to be true at an intellectual level, but rarely do we take action. With less, we make room for lifeā€™s most important things, which arenā€™t really things at all. And in yet another paradox, this tends to result in more success in all its forms.
Ultimate wealth is control over your time. If you donā€™t believe that, then ask yourself this: Would you trade places with Warren Buffet if it meant being his age (90)?

For me wealth means allocating my time like this:
ā²ļøTime commuting to work: Zero
ā²ļøTime in meetings/offices: As little as possible
ā²ļøTime creating (alone & w/others): LOTS
ā²ļøTime helping others: LOTS
ā²ļøTime with family: Always present & available
ā²ļøTime rock climbing: LOTS
When I started my career this would have been considered impossible, even laughable. After all, itā€™s a violation of the American Workaholic Ethos, where long hours in the office is a badge of honor regardless of results.
Fast forward 20 years and one pandemic and the world is beginning to embrace a new way of working. But - and this is the entire point of this thread - it only happens if youā€™re deliberate. You have to stop chasing more of the wrong thing, even if it looks like success.
I recognize that even having these choices is a huge privilege that most donā€™t have. That said, most people have more control over their lives than theyā€™re willing to admit. We like to point to external constraints when the truth is that most of our limitations come from within.
If youā€™ve read this far then youā€™re by definition the type of person can define and achieve your own version of wealth. May 2021 be the year that journey begins...

(Thanks to @sweatystartup for keeping it real and inspiring me to post this.)

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