When we’re raised in homes that are stressful, chaotic, unpredictable, or emotionally neglectful— we dissociate.

Dissociation is when we’re physically present, but mentally gone. And struggle with having memories.

Here’s why (🧵):

Our core need is to attach to a parent figure. This allows us to survive.

We also have an internal defense system that’s developing in order to keep us safe.

Think of the defense system as an internal alarm signaling danger.
When a parent figure is shaming, abusive, has rage cycles, or is emotionally neglectful— this creates a conflict between our attachment & defense system.

Our nervous system is activated (to fight, flight, freeze or fawn.)
At the same time, our attachment system needs that connection.

Regardless of a parents behavior, we will always seem to be loved, accepted, and chosen by a parent figure.

This creates an internal conflict.
So, our brain copes with this conflict by dissociating.

It’s a brilliant protection mechanism that allows us to: stay emotionally connected to our parent while also shielding (on a surface level) from what we’re experiencing.
This causes an internal separation.

One part of us goes about daily life, interacts with people, & appears present.

Another part (all subconscious) is developmentally traumatized. Emotionally immature. And is deeply mistrusting.
We continue to dissociate into adulthood.

This looks like: chronic day dreaming, “spacing out,” feeling numb, losing chunks of time, or feeling like you’re “above” yourself— not actually in the body.
It’s common for people who’ve dissociated through childhood to lack memories. In my case, I have almost no childhood memories— just scattered “feelings” of what happened.

This isn’t because I had “severe” trauma.
It’s because I had long term emotional disconnection from a parent.

In moments where we feel the original core wound from a parent (in my case like I’m being emotional abandoned)— our defense system can come up to protect us.
When this happens, we regress into childlike behaviors (slamming doors, yelling, stomping around, name calling, giving silent treatment, pretending someone isn’t there.)

It’s healing to understand this isn’t actually you— it’s a PART of you.
This part of you is trying to keep you safe.

It’s stored the traumatic experiences & needs valuation, reassurance, & acceptance.

Not more shaming or rejection.
If you liked this thread, please vote in my polls. This subject was chosen by my Twitter community.

Appreciate you all.

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॥ॐ॥
अस्य श्री गायत्री ध्यान श्लोक:
(gAyatri dhyAna shlOka)
• This shloka to meditate personified form of वेदमाता गायत्री was given by Bhagwaan Brahma to Sage yAgnavalkya (याज्ञवल्क्य).

• 14th shloka of गायत्री कवचम् which is taken from वशिष्ठ संहिता, goes as follows..


• मुक्ता-विद्रुम-हेम-नील धवलच्छायैर्मुखस्त्रीक्षणै:।
muktA vidruma hEma nIla dhavalachhAyaiH mukhaistrlkShaNaiH.

• युक्तामिन्दुकला-निबद्धमुकुटां तत्वार्थवर्णात्मिकाम्॥
yuktAmindukalA nibaddha makutAm tatvArtha varNAtmikam.

• गायत्रीं वरदाभयाङ्कुश कशां शुभ्रं कपालं गदाम्।
gAyatrIm vardAbhayANkusha kashAm shubhram kapAlam gadAm.

• शंखं चक्रमथारविन्दयुगलं हस्तैर्वहन्ती भजै॥
shankham chakramathArvinda yugalam hastairvahantIm bhajE.

This shloka describes the form of वेदमाता गायत्री.

• It says, "She has five faces which shine with the colours of a Pearl 'मुक्ता', Coral 'विद्रुम', Gold 'हेम्', Sapphire 'नील्', & a Diamond 'धवलम्'.

• These five faces are symbolic of the five primordial elements called पञ्चमहाभूत:' which makes up the entire existence.

• These are the elements of SPACE, FIRE, WIND, EARTH & WATER.

• All these five faces shine with three eyes 'त्रिक्षणै:'.
1. Mini Thread on Conflicts of Interest involving the authors of the Nature Toilet Paper:
https://t.co/VUYbsKGncx
Kristian G. Andersen
Andrew Rambaut
Ian Lipkin
Edward C. Holmes
Robert F. Garry

2. Thanks to @newboxer007 for forwarding the link to the research by an Australian in Taiwan (not on

3. K.Andersen didn't mention "competing interests"
Only Garry listed Zalgen Labs, which we will look at later.
In acknowledgements, Michael Farzan, Wellcome Trust, NIH, ERC & ARC are mentioned.
Author affiliations listed as usual.
Note the 328 Citations!
https://t.co/nmOeohM89Q


4. Kristian Andersen (1)
Andersen worked with USAMRIID & Fort Detrick scientists on research, with Robert Garry, Jens Kuhn & Sina Bavari among


5. Kristian Andersen (2)
Works at Scripps Research Institute, which WAS in serious financial trouble, haemorrhaging 20 million $ a year.
But just when the first virus cases were emerging, they received great news.
They issued a press release dated November 27, 2019:

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ज़रा सोचिये पीपल या बरगद की बीज कैसे पहुंचे होंगे वहाँ तक? इनके बीज इतने हल्के भी नहीं होते के हवा उन्हें उड़ाके ले जा सके।