//thread/

This was the very first experience I had in an LGBTQ social circle when I first openly came out as a lesbian at 18. I had just gone through a difficult breakup and was depressed and lonely for lesbian community, so I thought I would go to my university’s Pride Club.(1)

Pretty much all the members were female, with the exception of one gay man and one trans woman (who was 31). Not one single girl in the group identified as bi or lesbian, but rather several combinations of ‘queer’, ‘pansexual’, ‘genderfluid demisexual’, and ‘non binary’.(2)

We began by introducing ourselves and stating our preferred pronouns. I already felt super out of place but I went along with it anyway. When introducing myself as a lesbian, the head of the club kindly asked me to refer to myself as ‘queer’ or ‘gay’ so as to be inclusive of (3)

everyone’s identities. I apologized and agreed to the terms but it stirred up something inside me, pretty much the exact same feeling I had when I came out to my family and they refused to acknowledge or accept that I was a lesbian.(4)

The topics of discussion ranged from dating, gender expression, and the difficulties Victoria faced as a ‘trans lesbian’ and how so few people in her life would validate her identity. Victoria was showered with praise and support, and not one single person had any (5)