Ten components of being compassionate to yourself:

1. Self-friendship: treat yourself at least as well as you would treat a friend who is going through the same situation

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2. Worthiness: remember that you have value (as all people do), and that your happiness and preferences matter.

3. Self-talk: notice when you are saying something mean to yourself (aloud, or in your head), and rephrase it in a gentler, kinder, more considerate way.

4. Connectedness: reflect on the fact that, whatever challenge you are facing, there are others who are also facing a similar challenge. You are not alone in your pain.

5. Change: note that everything changes with time. If you are dealing with feelings that are difficult to stand at this moment, they will subside. This too shall pass. Things are usually not as important or permanent as they seem to us in the moment that we are focused on them.

6. Self-empathy: orient towards yourself with tenderness, understanding and compassion, especially when you are suffering. Take on the perspective that you would towards a child or loved one that was hurting.

It’s popular to read advice from highly successful people.

Their advice may be good for THEIR situation, but does it generalize to other circumstances?

Here’s my attempt to distill repeated advice from MANY highly successful people across many distinct circumstances:

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1. You won’t automatically be happy when you hit your goals.

Achieving goals breeds new ones.

A terrible situation creates misery, but a good situation doesn’t imply happiness.

Happiness takes inner work, gratitude for what’s had.

The good life’s a journey, not a destination.

2. High levels of accomplishment almost always require hard work over a long period.

“Overnight successes” are rare, and are often misidentified. If you look closely, usually the person was practicing for 5-20 years before they were an “overnight success.”

Always be improving.

3. Life is unpredictable.

When young, people usually don’t know what they’re going to “do with their life.” That’s fine!

Life takes crazy, unexpected twists & turns.

Plans are great but expect to modify them.

Be adaptable and on the lookout for great, unexpected opportunities

4. Don’t let fear stop you.

Attempting hard things will bring stress, fear, and anxiety. If you avoid what you fear (more than is warranted by the level of danger) your potential will be curtailed.

Learn to push through your fears to do stressful things that are valuable.