teaching kids that using the wrong pronouns makes people suicidal is conditioning them to feel that way, and to take this action extremely personally. what would the trans community look like it we taught kids to be resilient and strong, and not care what people call them?

the message received is 'people who don't use your pronouns want you to kill yourself', which is just not true. but how should a kid in a high control group know that? imagine being a teen and thinking that every time your parents call you 'she', they mean they want you to die.

if we changed the message to 'not everyone will respect your preferred pronouns, and you can't control how people refer to you. but that shouldn't stop you from being yourself and referring to yourself however you want to' - would we see a decrease in suicidal feelings?

if the answer is yes, could there be a reason why this community doesn't /want/ kids to be confident and self assured? could it be that the constant push towards suicidality, and in particular the idea that validation prevents suicide, might create a dependency on the group?