My son died fourteen years ago today. If you’re struggling with the loss of a loved one, I have some promises for you.

#NEIOH

1. Friends Of The Great Planet Earth!

Everything You Seek Is Already Within You!  Each Waking Dream Has False Teachings That  Say There Is A Special Place 'Out There' In The Skies Where People Go That Follow A Certain Doctrine.

2. And Those Same Teachers Explain There Is A Place Of Torment For Others That Arrived On A Different Part Of The Planet And Were Taught A Different Doctrine.

There Is ONE Creator That Has Been Named By Many. It Would Be Loving To Honor And Respect Another's Beliefs,

3. As In Truth, Many Have Lived In Multiple Cultures With Many Beliefs That Now Are Judged! Incarnating Over And Over Is The Joy Of The Soul Experiencing Life! The Soul Fully Understands This Is A Human Experience.

4. Wouldn't It Be Much More Relaxing And Fun To Allow Others Their Freedom, Just As You Want Yours?  Yes Indeed!  Relax And Flow!

Since The Very Beginning Of Your Self-Awareness As An Incarnate Being, You Have Probed Your World For Clues To The Meaning Of Your Existence.

5. You Have Looked In Every Conceivable Crevice And Pondered The Vastness Of The Infinite Cosmos. You Have Scrutinized The Spiritual Wisdom That Was Forthcoming From Those Who Believed Themselves To Be Knowledgeable About Such Matters.

The Law of The Stretch

I had become dissatisfied with my career at that point. Having started my career in Ibadan and having lived there all my life, I felt there was more. I remember how I felt there was a void within. Outwardly, things looked okay but inwardly, I was a mess.

I knew that if I wasn’t careful, I would just settle into a comfortable zone and that may just be the end of my career. Everyone loved Ibadan- the cost of living was low and I had almost everything, at least compared to those within my immediate space.

One of the greatest mistakes you can make is to benchmark your life by those within your immediate space or circle of influence. You will think you’re making progress until you get out and see others who will challenge you. And that was what I decided to do.

I saw a vacancy for a role in Lagos and I applied. Up till then, I had never worked in Lagos- save for a few trainings, attachments and banking school.

When I got the role, it was a major stretch for me. I didn’t have a place to stay so I had to ‘squat’ with a friend for 6 months until I could pull resources together to get a studio apartment.

As people are sharing what they were doing as a 21 year old, here is a story I would like to share. I might never have shared this but for the shameless defence of violence, insurrection and treachery, crookedly citing compassion for youthfulness.

A classmate of mine was weak in studies. Would sometimes fail in all subjects. Had a tough childhood. From Std V onwards, he and his elder brother would sell ice water on cart (oldies will remember those steel carts) infront of a cinema hall for 25p per glass.

While asking for money, he would sometimes even get slapped by people barking "saale paani ke paise maangega". His elder brother, a sweet and shy boy, still in school, was killed in a rivalry by a local goon to "teach a lesson" to his father.

After the killing, the frightened family moved to Delhi. My friend couldn't pass XII std.His father who had always been mean and harsh with children continued to be so. One day he asked friend's mother to pack him a lunch and ordered his son not to return home till he found a job

For 4 days the boy returned without finding a job. Every night he would be thrashed. Fifth day the boy didnt return. He had taken refuge at Mama's place who was kind to him. But Maami extracted her pound of flesh. He did all the household chores and was last to be served meals.

Life gets better when:

You understand that grades never mattered but how you grade yourself does

You learn from disagreements, you don't get upset

You keep your private life private

You often have your phone in DND mode