Yikes. I’ve had a bit of a shitty night. Woke up from a dream where I was sobbing - proper distressed, inconsolable body sobs - about work. I was living in a tiny cramped flat with my deceased family members, with no room. People from work were coming in and out & I felt >

> ashamed and I was trying to say that I used to live on my own in a bigger flat and not share a bedroom with my siblings & live with my Mum but I couldn’t. There was a new manager who came to see me and somehow bizarrely ended up in my bedroom waiting for me and it felt >

> intrusive & shaming because she saw my poor living conditions and I knew she would have been told by management that I was unstable/troublemaker/no good/rubbish. So then I cried and cried and cried and cried (to show how stable I was 🤣) and then I woke up 😳😳😳 >

> also random ppl I work with, coming in and out of my home, making snide remarks about no wanting to be there. All the time I felt embarrassed because it was small, cramped, dark, full of people. Ugh. Woke up mid cry and felt awful. That wasn’t quite it though... before that >

> I’d woken up just before 7am, wide awake, with vivid thoughts. The thought was of my (now deceased) brother. I remembered a time around my Mums funeral when I went to pick him up and he was slurring, all over the place, couldn’t stand up. So I took him to the Doctor. >