I believe on difference, between myself and those who are able to hang out with those who remain Trumpists, is an ability to weigh character only by who others are when they are with you, not who they are when you aren't there to watch.

I can't do that.

I think people are their truest selves when they feel least inhibited. A man who cheats on his wife only on business trips isn't a loyal husband because he doesn't invite a mistress into his bed when his wife is sharing the bed with him.

And once we know who they truly are, even if they pretend to be otherwise with us, they feel acceptance both for their hidden self (it can't be that bad if all I have to do is not remind them of it) and the act they play when you're around.

Maybe that really is the fundamental mental wiring difference that makes it hard for us to relate to one another. The ability to see and appreciate only what is put in front of us, even if we know it's different the moment we turn our eyes elsewhere.