#nofgm thread about first time giving birth. I gave birth 1
time back in 1991. I didnt speak English. Finding out that I was pregnant was absolutely beautiful. Emotions were drowning me . So much to feel

Then after that so much anxiety set in. My joy turned into my nightmare
My trauma took over completely. I was panicking. I knew these doctors don't know about me. All I could think about was. I am going to loose the baby.

I couldn't tell the doctors about me and they didn't ask either and I dont think they ever Fgm or thought even that crossed their mind.we are talking back in 1990s. No much of health professionals knew. I was absolutely having flashback everday

I saw only trauma. Because everytime anything happening between your legs. You are taken over by your trauma. I couldn't over come that. My joyous moment taken over by trauma. Its a nighmare. I start to panic. How will I deliver?

How will the baby come out? How would the professional look at me and would they think I am freak of nature. So many things running through my head. May God be with me . As due date nears .my heart aches . My fear is consuming me.

#nofgm thread about immediately after I was mutilated . Especially me how I felt. Trigger warning.
So first My body was raging with pain. My soul was crushed. My humanity was protesting

Smell of blood was absolutely engulfing and horrific . I was violently shaking. I i didn't have any control over my body. Every move my body made. It was extra sharp pain which was everywhere. I just wanted my body to stop just for a minute so that I can catch my breath.

Then the cutter is screaming that if I don't stop shaking .my stitched will come out and she will have to stitch me up. But I can't control how my body is reacting,I can't. I cant scream either
My voice is gone from screaming. I am swimming in the river of pain.

I am confused. I can't look at my mother or my unty. I am in so much pain that I pray to die. Cant take it. The Hut is my butchery Hut. The sun hits and the smell of blood is horrific. I can't stop smelling it. I am only 6yrs. Just tender age of
6yrs. I am surrounded

By family yet I am on a desert island just me and my pain. Why I ask in my head
Million thoughts running through my head. Why was I ignored when I scream. What was this .why did it happened. Why am I hurting this much. Million whys no answer

#nofgm thread . What happens during wedding night. Well if thought been mutilated or giving birth was difficult thread to read .I am about to share horrible one. Trigger warning

So if we couldn't urinate or memstruate normal. Now imagine having sex. Sex for first time is painful for many . Now a girl who has undergone Deinfibulation which means, total removal of clitoris and both Labias them stitched up leaving tiny hole where she can barely urinate

Now imagine that hole having to have sex. Its cruel and in some cases they call back the cutter who mutilate you to open you up. Imagine the thought of your worst nightmare come ,seeing your cutter again. This could be not the last time you see her.

She could pop up again during your giving birth to open you more as you don't have labia to expand in order the baby to come out. Marriage is extremely celebrated in my culture. Its beautiful how they celebrate. No expense spared. You are given gold ,clothes

But what awaits is horror. The girls undergo horrific moment during the first 7 days . No one visits. They are left to get on with it. Girls are ripped by their husbands
He forces his way in
Its no fun for him too. If he doesn't open her up. He is considered weak man