MORNING BANTER
Most people could not handle being around me & my wife due to our ruthless banter. In my wife, I found my match. At 1st glance, my wife seems like a sweet choir girl who reads the bible all day, but she can play the dozens w/the best of them & takes no prisoners.
Ive said many times b4, like comedian Flip Wilson said, "When I met my wife she had a Sunday School face & I had Saturday Night thoughts." I was a frat boy running around campus half naked & she was an honor roll student athlete seduced by a bad boy who partied more than studied.
Many mouths drop at the shit I say in stand up, in speeches, articles & on social media, but if y'all could hear da shit my wife says to me, U would be on the floor howling. Supersensitive mafuckas cant crack our door seal. My wife don't give a fuck about my feelings & I LOVE IT.
So here's an excerpt from our recent morning banter. Now to set the stage, I need to give you a picture of my morning routine. I love nature, so in the morning before I have my 1st cup of coffee, I get up & refill all the bird feeders around our property & water the plants.
Oh & by the way yall dont wanna see me in that garden I'm a beast. Ive been trying 2 do a little winter greenhouse activity 2 see if I can grow certain flowers in the winter & I also have a couple of orchids that belonged 2 my cousin that were dying & I'm trying 2 nurse them back