Don't bet on Mitch McConnell retiring soon. It took him 40 years to reach sexual maturity and it's estimated that he could live for up to 200 years. His constant growth necessitates shedding his scutes, which are made of keratin, every few months.

Mitch McConnell is ectothermic, so he is unable to regulate his own body temperature, meaning he enters a state of brumation during the fall and winter months. This is why he adjourns the senate during the holidays.
Mitch McConnell uses the roof of his mouth to smell, specifically is vomeronasal organ, so when he's standing around with his mouth open in the Senate chambers he is in fact "tasting" his fellow Senators.
While Mitch McConnell has a strong, sharp beak capable of 300 pounds of pressure per square inch, he has no teeth. That means he can effectively rend flesh, but is rendered helpless by a mouth full of popcorn!
Like most testudines, Mitch McConnell has not evolved a strong sense of hearing and can only detect sounds over 60 decibels. He has also never been observed registering whispers, distant speech, or the needs of constituents.
Testudines are thought to have low intelligence, but Mitch McConnell has been observed navigating simple mazes, which puts him at the higher end of the functional spectrum for reptiles.
Mitch McConnell can lay anywhere between 20 to 200 eggs at a time. He digs a hole in soil or sand and deposits his clutch of leathery eggs in a gelatinous, protective goo. The high number is to account for the eggs that will be consumed by predators like Ted Cruz.
During the summer, Mitch McConnell will use his tough nails to dig burrows to hide from the scotching heat of the sun or from the Senate ethics committee.
Though Mitch McConnell is considered quite advanced for a reptile, he has failed the mirror test, so it is not clear whether he is self-aware. It is also worth noting that no reptile has to this point exhibited the capacity for empathy.
Mitch McConnell has security with him at all times to prevent Ted Cruz from rolling him over and feasting on the soft flesh of his underbelly.
Mitch McConnell is elusive as he spends up to 95% of his life underground and less than 1% in his home state.
A young Mitch McConnell in his wilder days.

More from Society

So, as the #MegaMillions jackpot reaches a record $1.6B and #Powerball reaches $620M, here's my advice about how to spend the money in a way that will truly set you, your children and their kids up for life.

Ready?

Create a private foundation and give it all away. 1/

Let's stipulate first that lottery winners often have a hard time. Being publicly identified makes you a target for "friends" and "family" who want your money, as well as for non-family grifters and con men. 2/

The stress can be damaging, even deadly, and Uncle Sam takes his huge cut. Plus, having a big pool of disposable income can be irresistible to people not accustomed to managing wealth.
https://t.co/fiHsuJyZwz 3/

Meanwhile, the private foundation is as close as we come to Downton Abbey and the landed aristocracy in this country. It's a largely untaxed pot of money that grows significantly over time, and those who control them tend to entrench their own privileges and those of their kin. 4

Here's how it works for a big lotto winner:

1. Win the prize.
2. Announce that you are donating it to the YOUR NAME HERE Family Foundation.
3. Receive massive plaudits in the press. You will be a folk hero for this decision.
4. Appoint only trusted friends/family to board. 5/

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दधीचि ऋषि को मनाही थी कि वह अश्विनी कुमारों को किसी भी अवस्था में ब्रह्मविद्या का उपदेश नहीं दें। ये आदेश देवराज इन्द्र का था।वह नहीं चाहते थे कि उनके सिंहासन को प्रत्यक्ष या परोक्ष रुप से कोई भी खतरा हो।मगर जब अश्विनी कुमारों ने सहृदय प्रार्थना की तो महर्षि सहर्ष मान गए।


और उन्होनें ब्रह्मविद्या का ज्ञान अश्विनि कुमारों को दे दिया। गुप्तचरों के माध्यम से जब खबर इन्द्रदेव तक पहुंची तो वे क्रोध में खड़ग ले कर गए और महर्षि दधीचि का सर धड़ से अलग कर दिया।मगर अश्विनी कुमार भी कहां चुप बैठने वाले थे।उन्होने तुरंत एक अश्व का सिर महर्षि के धड़ पे...


...प्रत्यारोपित कर उन्हें जीवित रख लिया।उस दिन के पश्चात महर्षि दधीचि अश्वशिरा भी कहलाए जाने लगे।अब आगे सुनिये की किस प्रकार महर्षि दधीचि का सर काटने वाले इन्द्र कैसे अपनी रक्षा हेतु उनके आगे गिड़गिड़ाए ।

एक बार देवराज इन्द्र अपनी सभा में बैठे थे, तो उन्हे खुद पर अभिमान हो आया।


वे सोचने लगे कि हम तीनों लोकों के स्वामी हैं। ब्राह्मण हमें यज्ञ में आहुति देते हैं और हमारी उपासना करते हैं। फिर हम सामान्य ब्राह्मण बृहस्पति से क्यों डरते हैं ?उनके आने पर क्यों खड़े हो जाते हैं?वे तो हमारी जीविका से पलते हैं। देवर्षि बृहस्पति देवताओं के गुरु थे।

अभिमान के कारण ऋषि बृहस्पति के पधारने पर न तो इन्द्र ही खड़े हुए और न ही अन्य देवों को खड़े होने दिया।देवगुरु बृहस्पति इन्द्र का ये कठोर दुर्व्यवहार देख कर चुप चाप वहां से लौट गए।कुछ देर पश्चात जब देवराज का मद उतरा तो उन्हे अपनी गलती का एहसास हुआ।