At the cafe where I'm writing the people next to me were disagreeing about the origins of Men in Black & I said "If you'd like, I could clear that up for you" & one responded: "I'm sorry, we do not need an old white male's mansplanation." So I apologized and that was that.

(And by the way - it's not like that was the first thing that was said; we'd actually exchanged small talk about various things over the course of their meal and my work.)
Okay, on the way out of the bathroom as they were leaving her friend apologized & said I just got them on a bad day for that, & I said no worries, no need to apologize & she said "Well regardless she shouldn't've used the word 'old' like that" & I literally laughed out loud
Not that it matters, when I said I'd never heard the world manspanation, which I thought was a good word, she said she was pretty sure her friend had said "explanation" and so it's possible I heard it incorrectly. (Does this matter? No. Should I get back to work? Yes.)
SHE WROTE TO ME! She saw this thread on Reddit and realized it was her and she reached out! Oh my god it was so sweet. And she really made me laugh at the end cause she said basically “PS which one of us was right, me or my friend?” (About their disagreement) (it was her)

More from Writing

I want to talk about how western editors and readers often mistake protags written by BIPOC as "inactive protagonists." It's too common an issue that's happened to every BIPOC author I know.


Often, our protags are just trying to survive overwhelming odds. Survival is an active choice, you know. Survival is a story. Choosing to be strong in the face of the world ending, even if you can't blast a wall down to do it, is a choice.

It's how we live these days.

Western editors, readers, and writers are too married to the three-act structure, to the type of storytelling that is driven by conflict, to that go-getter individualism. Please read more widely out of your comfort zone. A lot of great non-western stories do not hinge on these.

Sometimes I wonder if you're all so hopped up on the conflict-driven story because that's exactly how your colonizer ancestors dealt with people different from them. Oops, I said it, sorry not sorry. Yes, even this mindset has roots in colonialism, deal with it.

If you want examples of non-conflict-driven storytelling google the following: kishoutenketsu, johakyu, daisy chain storytelling/wheel spoke storytelling. There was another one whose name I forgot but I will tweet it when I recall it.

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