"'How do I know I'm saved' is perhaps the central question of Christian life. Each tradition & sect finds different answers.

Most end up engaging in some flavor of works righteousness. For someone it is straight-up synergism. For others, it's the more subtle "fruit checking." /1

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Assalam Alaiki dear Sister in Islam. I hope this meets you well. Hope you are keeping safe in this pandemic. May Allah preserve you and your beloved family. I would like to address the misconception and misinterpretation in your thread. Please peruse the THREAD below.


1. First off, a disclaimer. Should you feel hurt by my words in the course of the thread, then forgive me. It’s from me and not from Islam. And I probably have to improve on my delivery. And I may not quote you verbatim, but the intended meaning would be there. Thank You!

2. Standing on Imam Shafii’s quote: “And I never debated anyone but that I did not mind whether Allah clarified the truth on my tongue or his tongue” or “I never once debated anyone hoping to win the debate; rather I always wished that the truth would come from his side.”

3. Okay, into the meat (my love for meat is showing. Lol) of the thread. Even though you didn’t mention the verse that permitted polygamy, everyone knows the verse you were talking about (Q4:3).


4. Your reasons for the revelation of the verse are strange. The first time I came across such. I had to quickly consult the books on the exegeses or tafsir of the Quran written by renowned specialists!
If you have a spiritual practice, this would be a good time to double down on it.

If you don’t have a spiritual practice, this wouldn’t be the worst time to start one.

1/x


Thread on why


Do yr spiritual practice. Even when you don't feel like it.

“Hardly does our head begin to ache than we stop going to choir, which won’t kill us either. We stay away 1 day bc our head ached, another bc it was just now aching & 3 more so that it won’t ache again.” Teresa of Avila

Ok: a spiritual practice. Something that you do regularly, and if you do it with the right intention, can transform your relationship to yourself, other people, the world and your place in it and (if this resonates with you) the divine.

Prayer. Meditation. But also: making art. Walks in nature. Going running, for some people. I wrote a whole entire book on parenting as a spiritual practice. Intention matters.

You don’t have to be religious to have one.

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1/ Here’s a list of conversational frameworks I’ve picked up that have been helpful.

Please add your own.

2/ The Magic Question: "What would need to be true for you


3/ On evaluating where someone’s head is at regarding a topic they are being wishy-washy about or delaying.

“Gun to the head—what would you decide now?”

“Fast forward 6 months after your sabbatical--how would you decide: what criteria is most important to you?”

4/ Other Q’s re: decisions:

“Putting aside a list of pros/cons, what’s the *one* reason you’re doing this?” “Why is that the most important reason?”

“What’s end-game here?”

“What does success look like in a world where you pick that path?”

5/ When listening, after empathizing, and wanting to help them make their own decisions without imposing your world view:

“What would the best version of yourself do”?