How to befriend any stranger.

Easy method to build respect based friendships with new people.

PS: Don't read if you feel bad about manipulating people.

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How to force someone to do what you want

A manipulation thread

Disclaimer:

Keep your bullshit & virtue signaling for yourself.
We all, at some point or another, need to manipulate people.
You won't always get what you want ethically.
Sometimes you just have to use manipulation techniques.

Let's start.

1- Understand & Identify Leverage:

If you want someone to do what you want them to do, you need to pull the right levers.

For that, you need to identify what can be used against them.

Be it their insecurities or something they want, situations differ.

In most cases, fear is the most powerful leverage.

Fear of negative emotions is one thing that works like a charm.

You have to make them think that not doing what you want will induce negative emotions, most people suffer from a phobia of said negative emotions.

Use it.

If you can manage to induce fear into them, you will get them to do exactly what you want.

5 Advanced Social Skills You Should Master

A thread

Wherever and whenever you’ll read about social skills you’ll be told some bullshit like Active listening & “set up your boundaries”, but the truth is the interesting part of social skills is the more complex & aggressive skills that most are too cowardly to talk about.

- Confrontation

If you’re too afraid to go to confrontation: nothing you have learned about social skills will be useful to you.

The most important thing is not the confrontation itself, but your willingness to go to confrontation.

The reason is that most lack the balls & courage to go to confrontation and will back down as soon as they sense resistance from you.

Of course, this is very nuanced because it is not applicable nor recommendable in all situations.

Many times, you will find yourself tempted to confront someone but the power dynamics will simply not allow it.

This takes us to our next point.

Instead of today's thread, let's have some fun

1 RT = 1 Life Lesson

First one is on the house.

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Those you trust the most are those in the best position for betrayal.

Active listening is a false God.

Most people will waste your mental space.

If you want to say "no", dont use any other word.

Seeking approval is the first step to auto destruction

How to avoid being disrespected.

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Understand this:

Anyone who disrespects you did so because you let them.

The primary issue is that we think people are just evil, it's not the case.

People are driven by self-interest.

If they see opportunities, they seize them.

No matter what it costs YOU.

If you're reading this then you've probably already wondered how you can avoid being disrespected.

The answer is simple, there are 3 things you need to do.

Let me explain.

1- Tolerate less bullshit in the begining:

You see, your first interactions with people define how the rest of the relationship goes

If you tolerate misbehavior right from the start, chances are they're gonna keep doing it again

Don't let people get too comfortable too quickly

People have to deserve the right to fuck around with you.

A bad joke from a friend is not the same as when it comes from an acquaintance

20 lies that the world feeds us everyday

A thread...

Lie 1:
If you don't settle in your 20s, you are gone!
This is the decade.
You don't get another chance.
Study fast, get a job, get married, kids, that car, that house.
Quickly!
Time's running.
Look at everyone else doing it!

Lie 2:
People who are poor are lazy.
People who are rich are hardworking.
It is your fault if you haven't made it in life.
Look at everyone else who made it.
There is nothing granted or gifted in life.

Lie 3:
Those in corporate jobs, are unambitious.
They have sold their soul.
They are addicted to the salaries.
They could have done so much more with their life.
But they decided to spend it working for someone else.

Lie 4:
Starting your own business is the surest way of making money.
You can never get rich earning a salary.
You can never get rich working for someone else.

The Law of Trust

“I’m not upset that you lied to me. I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe in you”- Friedrich Nietzsche

Sometimes in October, I received a call from a former client who had been out of the country for almost a year.

He is not a Nigerian but had just secured an appointment with a company. His first statement was “Bayo, I need to pick your brain on this because with you I know where I stand. I know you’ll not deceive me”.

After our discussion, he told me he had already informed his Chairman that their banking relationship had to come to me. I’ve signed it on since.

I’ve had cause to reflect over his statement many times since then. Here was a man whom sometimes I had very difficult conversations with. I’ve had to tell him no when I knew his requests were not possible. Sometimes, the relationship was stormy.

I never fail to tell my colleagues that the major currency for transaction is integrity and this will only be sustained in an atmosphere of trust. Never lie to customers in order to make a sale.

Keir Starmers new policy blitz will of course, be based on the ten pledges he made while campaigning for the

1. Economic justice

2. Social justice

3. Climate justice

4. Promote peace and human rights

A frequent question I get when talking with senior designers: Will my growth as a designer stall if I start managing?

There is often a second question underneath that, which is:
Will I no longer be respected as a design leader if I can't keep up as a designer?

Thread below👇

My short answer to "Will my growth as a designer stall if I manage?" is yes, absolutely, if "designer" is someone who produces design work.

Managing a 5-8 ppl team does not leave you time to design. When you don't practice a craft, you should not expect to get better at it.

However... (and this is a BIG however)...

What you *can* continue to grow (as both a design manager and a designer) is the following:

1) Your design eye
2) Your design voice

A strong design eye means that others trust you to know what is good.

It means your taste is well-honed through extensive study of an area.

It means your sense for usability, simplicity and aesthetics is well-developed even at subtle or fine granularities.

Very early in my design career, my manager asked me to review some design portfolios. I sat there, petrified, clicking through dozens of links. I could tell which ones were really bad, but many of the portfolios seemed good! I could not really distinguish between them on quality!