10 Red flags to note in relationships .

A thread !

1. Secrecy - There is a difference between being private and being secretive . Anyone who doesn’t want people to know you are dating may have somethings they are hiding . It’s ok to be private but alarm bells should ring where there is secrecy .
2. Barter - The relationship is almost always about what is being exchanged . While there will be exchanges in every relationship, an undue focus on this will indicate that someone is there for something they can get and not what they can give .
3. Misaligned values - What is sacred to you isn’t respected by the other .values like honesty , integrity , respect isn’t important to the other party . A relationship with nonaligned values cannot work ! There will always be conflict .
4. Mystery income - Some folks are dating thieves , robbers and fraudsters and always have signs to indicate that their partners are fraudulent. It is a huge red flag not to know what your other half actually does for money . It’s not wise to join a sinking boat .
5. Apathy - Don’t ignore “disinterest “ . It is a symptom of a deeper disease. Some folks after sometime just lose interest . Ensure you are able to discern this . If there is romantic apathy it is a sign that someone has moved on and you are only dating yourself .
6. Financial indiscipline - Money is very important in this life . Especially in marriage . Be very careful of any one whose presence in your life always brings about emergency spending of money you have plans for . You cannot build with an indisciplined partner .
7. Sexual indiscipline - Nobody just cheats . Cheating is a decision . Never minimize sexual indiscipline in your relationship. There are serious consequences for permitting it . Plan your peace early . Don’t give your heart to someone who will shatter it .
8. Lack of compassion: Be worried if your partner is “nice” to you but cruel to others . The way people treat folks they don’t feel they need reveals who they really are . We are all nice to the chicken we want to kill on Christmas Day .
9. Propensity for violence - If a partner ever lifts their hands against you ensure you run . The violent partner is a dangerous partner . Do not excuse physical abuse under any circumstance. Extricate yourself fast . That slap you received was a sign from God ! RUN!
10. Disdain for authority- The partner who doesn’t submit to anyone will not be accountable to you . They can feign it but really cannot be . Always check for the accountability systems in a fellows life before you give your heart to them .

More from Life

“We don’t negotiate salaries” is a negotiation tactic.

Always. No, your company is not an exception.

A tactic I don’t appreciate at all because of how unfairly it penalizes low-leverage, junior employees, and those loyal enough not to question it, but that’s negotiation for you after all. Weaponized information asymmetry.

Listen to Aditya


And by the way, you should never be worried that an offer would be withdrawn if you politely negotiate.

I have seen this happen *extremely* rarely, mostly to women, and anyway is a giant red flag. It suggests you probably didn’t want to work there.

You wish there was no negotiating so it would all be more fair? I feel you, but it’s not happening.

Instead, negotiate hard, use your privilege, and then go and share numbers with your underrepresented and underpaid colleagues. […]

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This is NONSENSE. The people who take photos with their books on instagram are known to be voracious readers who graciously take time to review books and recommend them to their followers. Part of their medium is to take elaborate, beautiful photos of books. Die mad, Guardian.


THEY DO READ THEM, YOU JUDGY, RACOON-PICKED TRASH BIN


If you come for Bookstagram, i will fight you.

In appreciation, here are some of my favourite bookstagrams of my books: (photos by lit_nerd37, mybookacademy, bookswrotemystory, and scorpio_books)