the dumbest funniest most horrifying thing just happened to me and I'm gonna tell you guys about it in case you need a deep gutteral belly laugh

so for xmas I booked a room at a nice hotel in NY for a night just for me, just to get out of the apt, just to do something kind of nice
I have never ordered room service in my life but I was like I'm gonna do it!! It's gonna be a treat!! It will make me forget I am alone!!
i was looking at the dessert section of the menu and it had al these normal things and then also chocolate mousse, except it specified that it's "for two." I'm like sure whatever I can eat a lot of mousse it's fine
It comes (along with my chamomile tea and burger for 1) in a giant bowl with a spatula stuck in it. I'm like hm interesting I wonder what the spatula is for. Also if it's "for two" why is it in one bowl
Folks, it is sex mousse.
I sent some friends this pic and was like "haha hand for scale"
"Delia what does it actually say on the menu?" Guys it's called "the deal closer."
anyway THE END. I ordered sex mousse for my home alone Xmas night. S/o to the room service guy for giving me nonjudgemental eyes as he hands it over with my chamomile as I stood in my glasses and sweatpants. Merry Xmas to all and to all a good night.

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